• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do

Been with my husband for 2 yrs and now have a 3 mo old son. For the past 2 years I've been making the money and he hasn't helped out much. I think he's been through like 10 jobs in 2 years. He's always got a reason for losing a job and maybe it's not his fault but I'm tired of all my money going to bills and never getting to spend any on myself or my son. We are so far behind now that I'm unemployed and he just lost another job on Friday. I now want to stay home with my son and lean on him to take care of us but I don't trust that he can take care of us so I am looking for a job. I am just stressed because when we started this relationship I was successful and I had money in my 401 K and very very little debt I also had 34 days of unpaid leave which came out to 2200 and now it's all gone. Gone to bills and my husband spending 300 on clothes for work and 350 on a day trip to cali. I am so stressed out I don't know what to do

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Nov. 27, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • It sounds as though you are in a very bad situation. Regardless, it appears that you do need to find a job. Perhaps marriage counseling is in order, either together or on your own.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:34 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • Money is the number one issue that couples fight about. You need to talk to him about his financial habits. You can do it with a counselor if you think that will make it easier, but he has to know that his reckless behavior is having a major affect on his family.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 11:43 PM on Nov. 27, 2008

  • Just curious....was he like this before you married him? I was married to two of them and I should have seen the signs before hand, but I was an idiot and didn't. Both of them STILL don't have jobs nor can they keep them when they get one on the rare occassion that they get one. You have a child and whether or not you want to leave is up to you. In the mean time, protect yourself. Get help. I know it's tough to do, but get any state aid that you can. It is there for those that need it. Chances are good that they will make him hold a job. Let the worker know what troubles you have and that you cannot depend on him to provide for your family.

    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 12:12 AM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Look for a job for now. I know you want to stay home with your child, but that isn't possible right now. Look for jobs that you can be around your child. Daycare is one of them. Become independant on your own. That way if the bottom falls out and you split up - it won't be financially devastating.Try reducing your debt. I have done this many times - you wouldn't believe the programs you find! Here's what you do: take your bills; medical, household, etc and call each of them. Tell them that along with economic hardships, you are looking at possibly becoming a single parent.

    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 12:13 AM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Ask them if they have anyway of helping you with your bill. Tell them you want to pay them off but right now you simply CAN'T! I have done this SOOOOO many times and have had literally thousands of dollars reduced or wiped clean through various programs the companies have that they do not advertise for families in need. Try it! You will be amazed! GL hun and PM me if you ever want to talk....

    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 12:13 AM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • leave and then tell him you don't need a loser ad a husband and your kid doesn't need a loser as a father so unless he gets a job and keeps it you're gone.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 3:56 AM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Yes, he had a past history of this, but when we met he was in the Marines so I didn't think anything of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.