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To mothers of adults that still live at home with grandkids

My 25 year old daughter and her toddler have been living here for about 9months while she finishes school and gets a full time job and saves the money for an apartment. The original agreement was that she had 1 year. My husband and I are moving in about a year and a half, and he has been talking to me about allowing her to stay (if she wants) until we leave the house so that she can save enough money to really do well for herself and her baby. She works part time and pays her own car, daycare, kid clothes, gas, etc. She never buys groceries but she cooks dinner every night and often cleans up the kitchen, isn't disrespectful in any way, she's a good girl and a good mother who is going through hard times due to the economy. I don't know if we will still get along as well if she stays living here this long, but the truth is I like having my grandbaby around and I like having my daughter around. She left on not so good terms at age 17 (drug addict) and she has grown up so much and changed so much for her baby. I don't even know if my daughter wants to continue living here for another 18 months! Any ideas?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (5)
  • offer her. if you are enjoying having her and grand baby around offer her to stay.. i am sure she feels the crunch of time and is worried.. that might ease her mind that she can save more.. just make sure she is saving!!

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 11:09 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • How nice of you & your husb to open your home & your hearts to allow her to return. This is a nice 2nd chance for your family & for her to get back on her feet. I am sure she will be very grateful to you both. Allow her to stay as long as you are able to, or as long as she wants. Now that you have established a great new foundation, I'm sure you will continue to be close even after you both move. GL :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:12 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • If it is something you think you can handle then go for it. Honestly my sister lived with my parents with her toddler and newborn and they had it MUCH worse than you.

    My sister paid for NOTHING, would not even buy her own toilet paper, was a terrible mother, never cooked or cleaned ANYTHING and contributed in NO WAY to the household. Everyone was miserable.

    If you think that things are going good, it sounds like they are, then off it to her. She may NOT want to take it but she will know that the option is there if she needs it. And you will get to spend more time with your grandbaby before you move! Sounds like a win win to me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Ever since my daughter moved back home we have been eating so well! She loves to cook and make healthy food and I can't recall the last time we have ordered a pizza or stuck a frozen dinner in the microwave, I am lactose intolerant since turning 60 and she's always reminding me to check food labels and the like, last week she made my husband and i a cake with almond-milk frosting. If she didn't help out at all or acted like she did at age 17 I wouldn't have let her move back in in the first place though.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:26 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I think if you are happy and the arrangement is working, by all means keep her there. I wish I had enjoyed living with my adult daughter when she was here. But it didn't work out for us as she was constantly traveling to see her boyfriend in another city and I could not depend on her to ever be there unless it was at her convenience.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 9:11 PM on Apr. 4, 2011

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