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That is not a parent! adult content

I am not going to act like I am okay with a friends choices, and I cant imagine why she would be like this! I approached her b/c her children get away with EVERYTHING, and she NEVER punishes them! While the other parents ( including me) have control of our kids and are doing our job, and her mean kids are out playing " becuase they snuck out". A parent will keep them in, a parent will not send her kids away b/c DH doesnt like them, a parent will keep a clean home, a parent will wake up early, and make sure her kids are in bed on time, make sure homework is done...etc. Not live in filth have no control, and no discipline in the home! I decided to tell her how I was feelng ( after almost 2 years) and she insists that I am just judging her! Well My son and a neighbors werent allowed to be outside after a fight, and her son was attacking them, and we kept ours in for 2 days, hers was outside 10 mins later eve after we called the cops on the child! It is rediculous! I am tired of being the "idiot" and the "bitch" becuase I am honest!  THE QUESTION IS..... WAS I WRONG FOR TELLING THE TRUTH?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • The problem isn't her parenting style. It's that she's NOT parenting and if it's negatively affecting your children you have every right to approach her with your concerns. You can't make her change her ways. All you can do is tell her why you're upset and hope she takes it to heart. If not, instruct your kids to stay away from them. If they're playing outside, come inside, and if it looks like there's going to be a problem, walk away. Call the police again if another problem comes up. Call the police enough times and eventually they'll get CPS or something involved. You have to protect your kids first and foremost.
    MamaStuart

    Answer by MamaStuart at 11:48 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Nope (:

    You did the right thing... I'll put it crudely, but its the truth. You can take the trash out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the trash.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:34 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • If how she parents (kids out of control and unsupervised) is affecting your kids, you have EVERY right to step in. At that point it isn't a matter of differing parenting "styles".
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:35 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • If her lifestyle was directly affecting yours, especially if her children were terrorising yours, then no you weren't wrong. However, if her lifestyle doesn't directly effect yours then it wasn't any of your business. If those kids aren't being harmed, are in healthy conditions, and don't need to be under CPS watch then you should've minded your own business.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:52 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Oh and you WERE judging her. Even if you were correct you were judging her and her lifestyle.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:52 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • frustratedhard to say...you're upset because someone doesn't parallel their parenting with yours??

    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 11:34 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Sounds like you are judging her though. Because she doesn't live the same lifestyle you are, you assume she's not doing her job as a parent. Okay, that maybe the case, but you don't know her reasons for not doing her job. Maybe she's not getting enough support at home. Maybe her husband is an unbelievable loser who sits on his ass all day. Maybe she's stressed out! I have a cousin in the exact same situation. Her kids will not listen to her, her house is a mess, she's always dating losers and she is at her wits end with everything. I try not to judge her situation because I don't know the whole story, but she confided in me once and told me she was stressed and depressed. She feels like she screwed her life up and doesn't really have anything to look forward to anymore. Depression is a serious thing and instead of reaming this woman as a bad mom, try to help her.
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 11:47 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • MrsHouston... With children that young, paperwork has to be filed (a TON of it, over, and over again) for them to be considered 'Incorrigible'. At which point the juvenile courts system will intervene, and they can actually be arrested. Here in SC, the youngest that this can happen is the age of 6.
    Unless someone pushes the responding officer to file the appropriate paperwork, it won't happen. They will simply tell the parent to make it all better and leave.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:51 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I'd just STOP being her friend.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 11:51 AM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Well....calling the cops is extreme. We only have YOUR side of the story too. I say keep your kids away from hers and mind your own business.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 12:13 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

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