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9 year old with an attitude

My 9 year old son has recently acquired an attitude problem. He has always been an exceptionally sweet, loving child who is eager to please us and I am just flabbergasted at this change. He is still totally fine with his teachers and other adults, but lately he has been acting really sullen and nasty, rolling his eyes, stomping around and talking back.

He isn't this way at school or anywhere else so I don't know what to think. So, is this behavior normal at this age? How should I respond and deal with it? As of now, I've just been getting upset and telling him that his attitude stinks and sending him to his room or taking away certain privileges. Truthfully, it hurts my feelings.


Asked by Christmaslver68 at 12:22 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 47 (254,089 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • it is the age. Take all the anger out of the situation and calmly go over the rules of the of which is respect for each other. Post the house rules somewhere. Take away THE most important thing to him as a punishment for bad behavior. Be consistent, consistent, consistent! And remember, take out the anger and just be matter of fact. Don't forget for you and SO to do one on one things with him too. And praise him when he does things right. Plus remind him you love him!

    Answer by elizabr at 5:26 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • As a mom to an 11 year old son..I totally soooo feel your pain :(
    My son used to be a complete sweetheart mamas boy and one day around the age of 8- 9..he turned into a back talking,smart mouthed stubborn..."lets see how far I can push mom and what can i get away with" little boy.
    For me and in this house..its just not acceptable to be rude like that. But getting my know it all child to understand that has been a rough road,lol.
    Sometimes, I say "WOULD YOU LIKE TO REPEAT THAT?" and it gives him an opportunity to rethink his words.Every time, he says "no thankyou" with his head down. My son has no impulse control, so if he thinks it..he usually says it,lol.So giving him that 2nd chance helps him.
    Other times, I simply tell him to go to his room and think about his words and when he's ready to speak nicer, he can come out and talk to me about it.
    Its a rough road but keep in mind, he doesnt mean it personally.HUGS

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:31 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Sounds like you need to sit him down and have a good talk with him and find out why he is acting that way. There could be something you are not aware of that is happening to him. Start there, then act on that.

    Answer by DaNanny28 at 12:33 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • i have heard that about that age, boys literally have to cut those close, almost symbiotic ties that they have with their mothers. this has to hurt. so they'll say very mean, cutting words, and in general are very disrespectful. the author of the article i was reading that in said that she simply let her son know that she did not appreciate his rude remarks, and was glad that he had a male role model (her husband) for bonding purposes. i believe her son was a young teenager at that point, but there's no law that says they can't go through that stage at a younger age. hope that helps

    Answer by AngryBob at 12:36 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Well even if he isnt that way in school he might be seeing kids who do act that way. Plus kids talk. I have said before I was really shocked when my now 11 yr old started back talking and treating his SM badly, and when I asked him why he said at school all the kids know its their God given right to act that way with SM's. So, like I said they talk to each other. Maybe someone in his group acts badly at home and tells his friends about it? And ds thinks its ok?
    Its not acceptable, and Id keep punishing him.

    Answer by gemgem at 12:29 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • we have tried sitting down and talking to him and trying to get him to open up to us but all he does is shrugs his shoulders and says "I don't know"

    Comment by Christmaslver68 (original poster) at 12:35 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Have you told him it hurts your feelings? I didn't exactly have this issue at 9 with either of the boys, but by the time my oldest was 15 it got pretty nasty. I did sit him down after one incident and expressed how much his words, his attitude and his tone hurt my feelings. How much I loved him and I feared that this was going to break apart the relationship we had if we can learn to communicate better. I laid it out pretty openly, expressing what I expect, why those things hurt me, what I do for him and how little ask from the end he was crying and apologizing and life has been great...of course he was 15.
    My now 12 yr old is just starting this, I do say things like "Do you want to say that again?" or "What did you just say to me?" which does help, but I also refuse to argue and tell him that when he's ready to have a conversation and not an argument we'll talk and I walk away.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:52 PM on Mar. 29, 2011