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Do you think that SAHM are looked at the same as SAHD?

Me and my husband have worked at different points in our marriage. We have both been the stay at home parent, but currently he's it. I am full time military and some times I feel he is looked down on. All these programs for the Armys "better halves" are aimed at women. (currently he his 1 of 2 husbands in my unit the other one works)

Do you think it's harder to be a stay at home dad today?

Answer Question

Asked by Audrice1985 at 2:09 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 17 (3,461 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I would think so, only because there aren't too many of those around.

    Answer by older at 2:11 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • If it works for you and your hubby enjoys being a Stay at home Dad, then why do you care what anyone thinks? I never did. Live your life YOUR way and don't worry!!! Cheer up! :-)

    Answer by minnesotanice at 2:13 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • it shouldn't be. i had a working mom and a sahd and it was good that way because my mom is a rotten human being, but that's beside the point. sahds deserve just as much respect as sahms

    Answer by momofone725 at 2:15 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • yes I do. My hubby is a sahd and I am the one that works. it is a shame that it is this way but we don't care what others think...we are doing what works best for us. you are right, the military is still so one sided on this in my dh was in the Navy and those support groups weren't much support to me, they were more about gossip and seemed to make things much harder when spouses where deployed by all the rumors that would go around...I just hated them, they weren't for me at all

    Answer by sdks2011 at 2:27 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I don't have an issue with SAHDs if the mom wants to work. I do have a problem with the men who will send their wives out to work and support them while they do nothing all day. Saddly, these are the only SAHDs I know - we don't have very many in our area. Maybe the people who are judging your husband are seeing him that way (even thought it's not the case) because it's what they have seen in the past.

    Answer by scout_mom at 2:39 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I think it is much more difficult for a man to be at home than a woman. There is a SAHD on my block women at the park give him dirty looks when he shows up with his kids. They don't invite him and his kids to play groups. I have invited him to join my circle of SAHM's. He was a bit hesitant but he has fit in nicely. We play cards while the kids play. Some wives freak out when their husband hangs out with moms in the community so they can't win.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Harder for men, because of the low #s involved.

    Answer by Sisteract at 2:47 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Yes. I think people look at SAHD as lazy.

    Answer by Renee3K at 2:47 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I think it is hard either way. I think any stay at home parent is looked at as lazy these days. My daughter is only 17 months old and My hubby is already asking when I think I will go back to work. A lot of my friends ask me "do you get bored all day at home with nothing to do?" They don't have kids! I think either way one parent should be home with the kids while they are little. You never get that time back. I for one don't want to look back like my mom and not be able to remember when my child hit milestones or not know if my child took naps during the day because she was in day care for 8 hours a day Monday through Friday and sometimes Saturday. Not that my mom was not a good mom, but money got tight and she had to go back to work when I was 9 months old. My DD is 17 months and when I ask my mom things like "when did I start making sentences, or using a regular cup?" She honestly can't remember because she didn't teach me.

    Answer by Anon344 at 4:58 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • It probably shouldn't be looked at as different, but I think it is.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 7:12 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

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