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My 5 year old is very defiant lately, what are some tips to get her to adjust her attitude without making it worse?


Asked by gardenmommy2 at 2:53 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 6 (103 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • I think this is very normal for 5. I used to joke that when my son turned 5 and went off to school, I sent my sweet, little boy and they sent home a hateful little brat! (tee hee) Once you mix them with all those other kids, they pick up all these little things that they did not learn at home and it is a huge adjustment for everyone. It really will get better. Whatever you do, do the same each time. For my daughter I make her sit in a chair at the end of the hall (we live in a ranch house) for 15 minutes. I set the timer and she is able to get up when she hears it go off. However, she is belly aches or talks or gets up, I add a minute each time. I just stick to my guns and it usually seems to work. Good luck to you....I know this is tough.

    Answer by Peajewel at 10:30 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Take away priviliges

    Answer by mommythree0508 at 3:14 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Try talking with her at a calm moment and ask if something's bothering her. If this is a new behavior, it could an illness, some trouble at home or school or copying some other kid's bad behavior. If she's always been this way, she may be oppositional-defiant. Child therapists have great techniques for dealing with this and you should try them. (Taking away privileges isn't the first thing you do.)

    Answer by Sarahinez at 4:16 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • State the rules clearly when needed. Stay calm and matter of fact. Have reasonable consequences for bad behavior. Make sure she gets individual attention from you and your SO plus praise when she does things right. Lots of times kids go for negative attention if they do not get enough positive attention. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 4:42 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Yeah, my daughter's like this too. Every single day is a battle of wits. She missed her bus this morning because she's slower than a snail at getting ready in the morning. I think she gets enough of my attention. It's only been since she's turned 5 that she's been a defiant brat. Living in a city where nobody controls their brats doesn't help either. The kids around here truly are brats. I'll let her play with the neighbor's grandson because he's cool and very well behaved, but I hate most of the kids in our neighborhood with passion and most of the moms of the kids she goes to school with are snobs.

    Answer by leomommy1325 at 6:25 PM on Mar. 29, 2011