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3 Bumps

What would you think?

I dated a guy when we were in highschool (I'm 23 now) for 4-5 years, the end of it were off and on. He cheated on me which is eventually why it ended b/c I wasn't able to trust him anymore. But we loved eachother like we had never loved anyone before. I still think about him, I've seen him pry a few times a year just to catch up, text once in a great while. I'm married now with 1 kid (our marriage is aweful and has been for over a year, I've been tryin to make it work and my hubby refuses), but I find myself thinking about him quite a bit over the years. The other night, out of the blue he started texting me. He told me I was the love of his life. He still thinks of me every single day. When he has dated or been with other woman he thinks about me the entire time. He would take me back in a heart beat. And that he still loved me. I mean this has been over 5 years ago..I was shocked and told him I didn't know what to say. Honestly, I believe that if he would have told me these things 5 years ago, I wouldn't be married now. I won't leave my hubby based on someone else. If I ever did, it would be bc I need to, to make myself stronger, and happy. I asked him why he told me now, and he said he just felt he needed to finally get it off his chest.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • He is probably trying to hit it again lol but i would just stop texting to him I try to work it out with your hubby. If it doesnt work out between u and yr hubby let it be and time will tell...when you less expected you will probably see yr ex again and that will be a sign that you 2 should be together...Honestly what it tells me that you never got over your ex and started a new relationship with out your heart healing.Good Luck!
    myliljs

    Answer by myliljs at 3:33 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I think it's a pretty selfish thing of him to do, when clearly he knows you are married.... I agree with you that leaving your marriage for another man would be the wrong thing to do. I also think if you can't make a marriage work, there's no reason to stay in it, but if you leave, you should leave for YOU, not for anybody else.

    You're both still awfully young, I'm really not sure I would trust him to be different, or believe he wouldn't cheat again.

    Honestly, I'd cut off all contact with him, concentrate on your marriage, do whatever you can to salvage it. If not, end that relationship before even THINKING about another one...

    Good luck.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 3:07 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Okay, so this is probably my own issue, but please be wary. I had a similiar thing happen before I was married. The guy from HS relentlessly pursuing. I finally gave in and, as soon as he got me in bed, he dumped me. It was the "chase" . . and part of him was "getting me back" for all the years we were apart. It is the "little black book syndrome". Just be careful.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 3:07 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I don't think your marriage will ever be what you want it to be if you think about this other guy.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 3:04 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Simple case of the "grass is always greener on the other side" which it NEVER is. You need to evaluate your relationship with your DH. obviously you loved each other at one time to get married. What happened? Can you fix it? Is it your atitude towards the relationship? We all break up with people while we are dating but is it caused by you? Can you seek family couseling for you & DH? Here is the thing, get YOUR life on track, leave or stay but get your own affairs in order before jumping into anothers arms that may or may not hold you for very long. We all have past loves and the younger we are the more vibrant the feelings are. But then you don't live in the past, you live in the here & now. What seems like too good of a deal is usually not. Be honest with yourself especially if you have kids. Make the changes you may need to make to keep your family together. Remember why you married your DH in the first place. GL
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:18 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I'm with ImaginationMama...same thing happened ot me. He turned out to be the biggest asshole I ever knew and we grew up together and I thought he could be trusted after I finally let my guard down. Wow, was everything out of his mouth a lie and he really poured it on to get my trust I'll tell ya that. Be careful.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 3:10 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • If you are unhappy in your marriage and you and your husband can't work things out to where you are happy and strong then end that marriage. Get to the place in live where you are feeling happy and strong and embracing YOUR new life and then if you are still have feeling for this guy then reconnect. But like the other very wise CM's said 'be wary'.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 3:36 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Some men are trolling all the time in the hope that they may get lucky. He has done it before, doing it now and will do it again on you. They do exhibit good social skills and ocassionally get a gullable girl. I have a friend like that. He is 62 has 3 offspring in their 20's. Never paid a dime, doesn't work, now wants to have a "family" relationship with his children and acts like he is a wise nice guy. He is really a starving artist mentality that has taken advantage of everyone for years. I ask him how he does it and he says, "never double book".

    They may feed your ego temporarily, but just run. Realize your were born as a genius and only get limited by the negative beliefs of your friends, relatives and neighbors. Get some personal development training and use some wisdom. If you can improve your marriage fine and if not remember, "Where ever you are, you are." Then life takes on new opportunities and every where you go ++
    MindGuy

    Answer by MindGuy at 4:24 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

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