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I'm trying to get some opinions on what to do about a lazy child

I know that sounds horrible but my daughter is just plain lazy~ she is very smart but has terrible grades because she just doesn't do the school work~ I have had to stay on top of her to get anything done at school, even going to school with her, her entire school career. So she has always been an A student. However now with her going to 6 th grade, switching classes and block scheduling not to mention the lack of communication and effort from the teachers she is failing this year. I am at a loss. The teachers love her because she's quiet but I see her failing not the good kid they see. Should I hold her back to show her I will not accept this lack of responsibility. Help

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Asked by lifesapuzzle at 3:07 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • Wow thats a tough one, but if she is smart, I see no reason to hold her back. JMO

    Answer by darter at 3:18 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • First off- make sure she has everything she needs to be organized. My kids were the worst during middle school for being forgetful, and unorganized and such- they are better now that they are in high school. I reminded them a lot about stuff, and asked every day if there was homeowrk or whatever. Also, can she see and hear everything ok? are kids bothering her?
    Have you talked to her and listened to see if there are other things going on?

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 3:20 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • No, no . . . don't hold her back . . . . that will completely ruin everything, and she will turn her back, for sure. Middle school is such a hard time. Social stuff comes into play, boyfriends and sex (carzy, I know), hormones, drugs, bullies, gangs, popular, etc. Take more time to talk with her about what may be going on. Sometimes kids "pretend" they are "dumb", so that they won't be called a "nerd". It happens a lot to smart kids who want to fit in.
    Spend time with her. Sit with her during her homework, and make sure she gets it done. Keep her home under your watch until she gets back on track.
    Middle school can be a game-changer, so you need to do everything in your power to prevent her from slipping down the "bad" slope.
    If this does not work, pull her and send her to an all girls private school. It may take some of the pressure off.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 3:22 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • No- I'm ocd and make sure she is very organized- she will look me right in the face an say she did her work or doesn't have homework- thn when I check the website an see the bad grades and ask her about it the only response is I just don't want to do it- I need ta make her want to- I reward for good behavior so all I can think of now is punishments.

    Comment by lifesapuzzle (original poster) at 3:25 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • She is bored, very common problem. Get her involved in something. Busy people don't waste time. What motivates her?

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 3:27 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Talk to a teacher who knows her well. Find out who her friends are, and what kind of kids they are. You may need to intervene with who she socializes with. Sounds to me like she is trying to fit in with a bad crowd.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 3:27 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • You have to remember she has always been this way~ the difference is going from 1 teacher to 8~ I can't go to school with her everyday and I can't seem to get the education system behind me~ as long as she's not disrupting the class their fine with it. And I do her homework with her everyday, all 3 of my children. I always have. The problem is when you don't know she has homework. I even have The teachers sign her agenda book everyday so I kno what's goin on an they sign blank spots, that doesn't tell me anything. Are you kidding me, I'm very disappointed with the school not backing me in my efforts. Their are so many parents out there that don't care you would think they would go out of their way for the ones that do.

    Comment by lifesapuzzle (original poster) at 3:33 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • My daughter is an excellent student, but she has a friend with the same problem. This girl is very smart, but just won't do her work. Her parents have tried everything. My daughter even gets frustrated with her friend because she is always grounded. I would schedule a meeting with the guidance counselor. I know at our Middle school the kids who are failing have to stay after for what they call period 8. It is mandatory. Sometimes that is incentive enough for them to get there act together. They also make them attend summer school if they fail a core subject. In july in an unairconditoned building. Loads of fun!!!! How about rewarding her for good grades. I would even reward c's at this point.

    Answer by jcm62497 at 3:34 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Also you should know she's like this in every aspect of her life- she's 11 and I still have to make her brush her hair- she jst doesn't care about anything she has to put effort into~ the only thing she really likes to do is read fantasy books which I limit because I already have enough problems with her living in reality.

    Comment by lifesapuzzle (original poster) at 3:42 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • In my house I require A's and B's~ no exception~ my other 2 children are straight A students and you would think seeing them get rewards when she doesn't would give her incentive but no~ And I 2 have tried everything, after school classes didn't work because they gave them snacks and she enjoyed the lacks atmosphere, they didn't have to perform, it was like social hour. Counseling didn't work because all her problems were someone else's fault- she even gets mad at her younger sister for doing good because she says it makes her look bad- I'm afraid its going to have a negative impact on her, and their relationship.!!!

    Comment by lifesapuzzle (original poster) at 3:50 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

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