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how do i deal with my ex-husband remarrying and having a new baby?

My ex-husband and I agreed we wanted kids before we got married. When we got married kept putting it off. I was later diagnosed with endometriosis. My Dr advised me that we could either try to get pregnant or have an hystorectomy (this was after I had already did hormone treatment and minor surgery to remove it.) I would lay in bed at night and beg him please let's have a baby and he would say ,"No we can't afford it." Well there went my chance to ever have another child. After surgery I resented him so badly and really couldn't get over it. So with that combined with never getting to have a checkbook or debit card I filed for a divorce. He met a 21 year old woman married her and they just had their first son...I am so crushed and it makes me feel so worthless, like I wasn't important enough to have his child but she was.
Heart Trampled


Asked by NavyMom777 at 7:16 PM on Jul. 9, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • Did it ever occure to you that the new bride trapped him? or got prego against his will? Do you really think she will be allowed to have a debit card or bank account? Count your blessings that your not with the contolling SOB. I'm sorry you cant have kids, maybe you could adopt or foster some kids?

    Answer by vbruno at 7:19 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • That would be devastating! In some way I can relate, although I was able to have a chile. In my situation I knew a man for 16 years before becoming pregnant, he abandoned me while I was pregnant, remarried while I was pregnant, and proceeded to have children with his new wife. He has never met our daughter and has never been interested in her, but seems to enjoy his "new" family. I HURTS to go though something like that. I'm not sure you're ever going to get over suggestion is to get MAD about it. If he was going to treat you that way, he would have treated your baby that way. God help the new girl (who sounds very young) and their baby.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 7:32 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Ok I want to respond to the first answer.
    You saying this new bride trapped him. He didn't have to marry her, no one is trapped like that.

    Now as for your question, you are worth more than he treated you and you do not need someone like that. I am sorry about your situation. Just count the blessing u have right now

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Also I have a response to the first answer YOU CANT TRAP A GUY BY GETTING PREGNANT, YOU NEED TO GET OVER WHATEVER JEALOUSY YOU HAVE OVER SOMEONE ELSE! But to you I am sorry when things like that happen you just need to think positive, hell you could meet the REAL man of your dreams who is rich off his ass and you guys can addopt millions of babies:)

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • are you a mom? Cafemom?????????????????????????????

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • The owner of CafeMom is a MAN so no he's not a Mom......LOL

    Answer by vbruno at 10:32 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I am saddened for you I experience great heart break in my life so everytime I read someone else's story. Iknow we woman have to stick together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Oh girl don't do that to yourself! Every pot had a top and he was'nt yours. Move on to your Mr. right, your family is waiting for you.

    Answer by rosetoes at 2:04 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • I agree with the other ladies, count your blessings he is not in your life. I'm so sorry that you cannot have a child now, but there are plently of children in this world who deserve someone to love them & they don't have that. I know it's different, but I am adopted child & from my experience I can say I am VERY grateful they did. I was 8 when I was adopted. But onto him, look at this way he is her misery now not yours. You can't live in the past. Keep you head up sweetie, Mr Right is out there for you.

    Answer by HelenStoner at 12:29 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

    YEAH There is a GOD.

    When I read your post I thought the same thing. Maybe she purposely got pregnant, or it wasn't planned and she got pregnant. It does happen. Sorry about what you're feeling. But him telling you that you couldn't afford it, was a blessing in a way. Seems like he's to tight in the wad and you would've been miserable your whole life.
    Maybe it was his Karma that got him back for this by her getting pregnant. He told you no and now he has to pay.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Jul. 10, 2008