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4 Bumps

Do Funerals have to be sad

I completely understand the somber tone that accompanies most funerals. Usually the deceased has plenty of friends and family to mourn their loss, and they are never happy to have to give a eulogy. But my question is why are funeral not a celebration? Not celebrating the persons death, but their life. I know other societies both past and present have held funerals in this way, why do we have to do it the depressing way.

My will is going to dictate that my funeral be a party with an open bar and required hawaiin shirts. and maybe a roast.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • I think that is great. A dear friend died back in October and he was of no particular religious faith so all his friends gathered in the chapel of the funeral home and everyone got up and told funny stories and laughed through tears. We had a meal after and it was very uplifting in the midst of a tragic situation. I love your idea - a roast might be pushing it but hey if you have the right mix of friends willing to honor you then go for it!

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 5:12 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Great question. And my grandmother's funeral was a celebration of her life and on to bigger and better things :) I don't know if religion makes a difference, but my grandmother's was in southern baptist church, and it was one hec of a party :) Of course there was mourning the loss, but the funeral itself, even my grandpa smiled a majority of the time.

    Answer by yesmaam at 5:14 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • because people are still dealing with the fact that they'll never see their loved one again, that is very painful & can take a long time to heal from. We become utterly attached to the ones we love. if your husband dies tomorrow, I'd like to see you get into party mode. The party would still be sad....not everyone knows how to be happy right after your love dies. It's a very sad time.

    I also would like party AFTER my funeral. I think it's very important for people to really feel the pain of losing a loved one, it's the first part of the healing process.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:18 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • LOL your so funny I agree.

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 5:12 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I dont think they have to be sad. I want my funeral to be fun. Death is not sad to me unless it happens to a young person or a child. Its a part of life. My life has been fun and happy so far, so I would want my death to be celebrated as I lived life.

    Answer by ArmyWifeAshlie at 5:13 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • i think it should be a celebration of life

    Answer by mamawilbur at 5:15 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • They have passed on to the last great adventure (at least before re-incarnation). They are free of pain and misery. They are safe and happy. I have been viewed with sideways frowns at funerals because I can't stop smiling. I can't stop feeling happy for those I loved, who have evolved into the final stage of human life!! The joy and excitement is just too much!

    Answer by witchqueen at 12:29 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I'm Native American. When someone passes away we follow our tradition of mourning of the passing of a loved one for three days and nights. When my uncle passed away, and they brought him home.. they put his body in the community hall. When he first got there, many people mourned.. they built an honorary fire for him that did not die. the Firekeepers kept it going through the night. We ate dinners together and talked about him. We were together. I will never forget how that was done. That is how I want to go. People who loved me paying me their last respects by memory.

    Answer by Autumn07 at 9:39 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I think it really depends on the age of the deceased and the circumstances surrounding the death. If it's an old person, perhaps a "celebration of life" would work. Or possibly even for a younger person who did NOT die unexpectedly--then maybe the celebration angle would be doable. But not for someone who isn't elderly and then dies unexpectedly...people will just be too sad and shocked to feel celebratory.

    Answer by vicesix at 5:17 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I've only ever been to one "celebration of life". A close friend died unexpectedly, but wasn't religious, so people just took turns telling the funniest, craziest stories they could remember. There were tears, but there was also lots of laughter! I will always remember that day as an amazing tribute to a good man. I can only hope that I'm as honored by my loved ones when I pass.

    Answer by Kimedbs at 5:25 PM on Mar. 29, 2011