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Should she tell him she's pregnant?

My good friend was seeing this guy for a few weeks. He was always texting, calling and seeing her. Then one day (a few weeks ago) he just stopped. He's still alive and well just stopped talking to her, not even a good-bye or reason. They had sex one time and she found out at her drs appt the other day that she's around 6 weeks pregnant. She knows it's his since she hasn't had another partner since last year.

She's unsure if she should tell him. She hates him for how he ended things. I feel she should because it's not about him and her anymore, it's about the baby they both created and he should have to pay child support. I told her not to let him off the hook like that. She gets her ultra sound this week and she's waiting for it before informing him so she doesn't sound like some crazy ex girlfriend that's claiming she's pregnant just to get his attention.

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • It is up to her, if she doesn't tell him, she will be doing it all on her own though.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:51 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I was in this same situation however I was the one that broke things off. I found out two weeks after dumping him.
    i didnt want to tell him but everyone told me I should so I did. he didn't believe me and hasn't been involved.
    I say tell him because he could turn out to be a good dad and that baby deserves a chance to know him and his family, if they choose to be involved.

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 5:52 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Sadly the truth always finds a way out and she will be connected to this creep for the rest of her life now. She might as well take control now.

    Answer by ochsamom at 5:54 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Yes, she should tell him. What ever happened to "it takes two". Seriously, he's the dad. It's not just hers to do what she wishes with.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • While it is totally up to her, in all fairness he should know. Even if it just a letter explaining the situation and what she expects or even doesn't expect from him with a copy of the sonogram in it. How she wants to pursue it form there is up to her.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:54 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • She is morally obligated. The child needs to know his or her biological heritage for diagnosis of disorders and diseases.

    Answer by Bmat at 5:55 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • She's afraid he'll hurt her again by not wanting anything to do with the baby. He also has a nosey controlling mother so she's afraid the mother will be the driving force behind any complicated legal battles.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:57 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I understand her concerns, but have to agree with you. She should tell him. They can do a DNA test and even if he walks, she at least told him.

    Answer by amber1330 at 6:02 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • And also...before my hubby and I got married my husband was the same way that her ex seems to be. Dated a girl and walked away. She had called him, told him she was pregnant and he was right there by her side. Ended up that the baby was not his, but he still had stepped up to be a father. You never know how a guy will react.

    Answer by amber1330 at 6:05 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • She needs to tell him. She needs to document when she tells him and keep it for later on when she goes to file for support or if there is a battle over visitation and he tries to claim he "didn't know". She needs to be the bigger person, put her personal feelings aside and do the best she can by her child. She may not like him much now, but the baby will one day ask about him and I'm sure she will want to be able to hold her head high and know she behaved as an adult when letting him know that he is the father.

    Answer by khedy at 6:08 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

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