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Okay my big sister age 47 lives at home with my parents and her two "GROWN" kids. Okay my dad is in the hospital, my mom rushes home to cook for "HER" grown kids, and my sister is sitting on her sorry butt doing nothing. I just asked my mom why do she continue doing this for my sister? I mean she should be cooking for her own kids right guys? Do you all think I should say something to her, or just let my mom handle it? Both of her kids live there with no jobs, nothing. My sister works, but why she's not enforcing her kids to work is beyond me. Should I just stay out of it being that I don't live there? She comes home from work and does nothing. My mom is busting her tail cleaning up after her kids. I seriously want to step in, but I don't know why my mom is so gullable to her.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Continued

    Her kids are 24 and 20. Neither of them is working, and I'm so tired of seeing them taking my parents through this.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:03 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Well... I would talk to your mom about it.. Those kids should be working... and your sister should be the one supporting the kids... not your mom. Just let your mom know that it hurts you to see her working her tail off when she shouldnt have to! if she feels the same way.. maybe you could both talk to your sister about it! If she doesn't feel the same way... then i would just drop it and move on.

    Answer by kaitilala at 6:10 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • it's up to your mom what she wants to do, and I wouldn't get something started by getting into it.
    though, you could help encourage your sisters kids to do more for themselves. Maybe your mom insists on it.
    I'd talk to you sisters kids if anything, but not criticizing, things like having a 'cooking day' or asking if they know how to do a resume and all that.

    might help.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 7:05 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I feel badly for your mom. She needs to stick up for herself and bring an end to this. Do they at least pay her rent? Try one time to talk to your mom about it but there really isn't much more you can do.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:26 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Hm, not sure what you should do b/c i'm unaware of your whole family dynamic- but if it was me, i would talk to my sister- her kids- and my mom. 20 ad 24, not doing anything???? that's ridiculous. i'm 24, i work- go to school full time- and take care of my child- and can't stand lazy people my age. my sister actually has three kids, we disagree sometimes on acts of parenting, but we always tell each other what we think or what we would do- and at least we're open to hearing the advice (even if we don't take it). i have actually talked to my mother about how she babies my youngest siblings too. i think there's nothing wrong with saying how you feel, but just be careful how much/if you push it after-- that can cause problems. but DEF say something, if you don't- who will?? good luck :D

    Answer by lexi8622 at 7:43 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • elizabr, they pay nothing. The 24 year old has my parent's entire basement to himself. It looks like a studio apartment down there, and I told my mom he need to start paying some type of rent. I guess some of you are right. Maybe my mom is the enabler. One thing my fiance told me was oneday those grown kids of hers will have to face life and responsibilities, and it will be ashame if they live there forever like their mom. My dad is in the hospital right now battling cancer, and diabetes. My mom sits with him everyday, and It really make me mad to see her rushing home to feed grown a.. people. Yes I don't live there, but I'm out here on my own making it with my kids, and I don't know how my sister even have the audacity to do this to our parents. I go there to visit everyday with my other sister, and all I see my nephew do everyday is eat, sleep, and you know what else.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:13 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Try tkg with ur sister...if she gets nasty tk to ur mom about it...

    Answer by smiley745 at 8:17 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Thanks for listening ladies, it really feels good to vent. I'm so scared of losing my dad right now, and to see my sister and her kids treating them this way really angers me. The 24 year old totally disrespects my dad, and my sister says nothing. They all make me sick, and I'm so tired of it. I even went as far as speaking to a family counselor, and she told me that it is up to my mom to step up and do something, not me because I don't live there? Is she right?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:17 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Well, you might also suggest to your mom that she not rush home for anyone. If she wants to eat at the hospital she should. Maybe starting with something like that would steps. Also, if she wants to sell the house down the road don't let anyone talk her out of it. She needs to put herself first. I'm glad she has you. I wish she would listen and think of herself first.

    Answer by elizabr at 8:18 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Yes, the counselor is right, but you can encourage your mom to think of her needs first.

    Answer by elizabr at 8:44 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

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