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Family worries

I can't stand my boyfriend's family! Our baby is due in a month and I keep dreading them coming to the hospital. Now I know I should be more mature than this, that I shouldn't let it get to me, and I know when you are with someone you have to respect their feelings and not be selfish and deal with their family but UGH I don't like them and it bothers me so bad! We have been dating for over a year and our families are completely different and haven't met yet. His has money, they are conservative and not open minded what so ever, when you go to family dinners with them it is not fun, they don't really joke or have fun, all his mom does the entire time is criticize eveything about everyone. My family doesn't have much money, we are happy with the simple things in life, when we have dinners it gets pretty silly and everyone laughs and has a good time, they are easy to get along with and realize that no one is perfect. I'm worried about our moms meeting because I don't want his mom to say anything that will put my family down. I'm dreading it so bad! I am already not excited about labor and I just don't want them there at all. I only plan on having my mom and my boyfriend in the delivery room but I'm worried about his mom stopping by and saying something that will piss me off. I never say anything back to her when she upsets me. I wish I could over look things but I have always been the type to take peoples words to heart. My boyfriend will sometimes defend me against her but sometimes he doesn't catch on to her snide remarks and I am left not knowing how to respond. I wish I could stop worrying about this and look forward to it instead...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Honestly, I would be putting him on notice about his mom. Let him know that the last damn place you are about to be put down or have your family talked about in a rude manner is in your delivery room. You are bringing life into the world, you are the one who is going to be struggling physically, and exhausted on every level. Make it HIS job to make sure his mother keeps his mouth in check, and honestly, I would be telling her (or having him tell her) BEFORE your delivery that the snide remarks are not acceptable and will not be tolerated, she will be asked to leave if she upsets you or anyone else while she is there.

    As far as the children, some hospitals don't even let children in if they are not a sibling to the new baby. I would tell her that she can bring the child over once you are settled back at home...not to the hospital.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 7:24 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • don't let them in the room. you don't have to see them on the day that you are giving birth to your baby. they can stay in the waiting room the entire time. they'll allow your boyfriend to take her/him in the hall so that everyone can see. tell them you're exhausted and you don't want any visitors that day after labor.
    TiffanieK

    Answer by TiffanieK at 7:01 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • focus on that baby and let him worry about his mother.
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 6:57 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • My mom and I are are close enough that if something is bothering me, then I tell her. If you are close enough with your mom that you feel comfortable being honest about your boyfriend's mom, then tell her how she can be, pre-warn your mom so she doesn't get offended while you are trying to enjoy the birth of your child. Maybe if your mom knows how irritating your boyfriend's mom can be, she will be more apt to just ignore the annoying behavior.
    CassiRae3

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 7:02 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • make sure the hospital knows to not let her in, and I agree with the first post. don't worry about her for now.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 7:02 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Compromise. NO family allowed, other than the two of you. They can visit LATER.

    If that's not acceptable, I'm afraid I see a split ahead.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:07 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • You don't need that hassle right after having a baby. Just tell your boyfriend that you are really tired and need sleep and to keep visiting with his parents to a minimum. I know how you feel my MIL at the hospital was ok except she kept trying to watch me breastfeed which was a little weird, but when I got home she accused me of trying to kill my baby because I was having trouble breastfeeding. So after that experience I decided after I came home from the hospital with my 2nd baby she was not aloud to be anywhere near me. My mom was with me so she stayed away. Thank God! Please tell him to tell her to keep her mouth shut or she isn't welcomed to come near you or the baby until you are feeling better.
    Mom1127-0125

    Answer by Mom1127-0125 at 8:25 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I didn't think of your mom being there. I KNOW she will be willing to stick up for you if you think there will be a problem. Let her know before hand what you are worried about. I know if either of my daughters were lying there giving birth or recovering from it and someone with a smart mouth came in...they wouldn't last long...my daughters' wishes will be upheld.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:34 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I plan on having my tubes tied and the doctor told me they would probably do it a few hours after having the baby. My boyfriend knows how I feel about his mom so I asked if he coul duse the time I am in surgery to let them visit with the baby but he got upset because my mom is going to be there the whole time and everything. I don't want to upset him and I try to be understanding but it's not my fault his mom is so mean
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:03 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Also his parents may be bringing their other grand daughter, and I hate to say this about a chils, but she is extremely annoying and I just don't feel like dealing with it :(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:05 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

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