Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

What would you do?

Ok so we all know I dont mesh well with my in laws were alll way diff! Well Andy has a 27 yr old sis with a almost 12 yr old daughter. Ever since I was preggo an we found out Lei was a girl we sensed some jelousy issues from his sister. She no longer was interested in my pregnancy, didnt come to the baby shower done at her house (she lives in the back of her moms house) didnt come to the hospital (in the same city and we were there for 5 days) has never bought her anything or as much as held her and her mom watches her daily..She acts like she doesnt exist! And I have heard comments such as Lei is fat, or Lei is late at this, or Lei will be uncofortable about her birthmark one day, that leilani doesnt do this an denise did that at that time or that im way too into my daughter. So we dont talk. We found out from another family member asking if we knew his sister was pregnant. Well she is due in August with her 2nd kid same guy. They were hoping for a boy and I was hoping for a boy because Lei is already neglected and I dont want all the competativness that I know she does and now is gonna do because she is having a girl.

Well yesterday (we dont ever text or talk for that matter) She text ITS A GIRL so send me all Leilanis stuff. I was baffled. We dont talk 1st of all, 2nd no please no appreciation but moreof a demand. And 3rd why would I want to give everything to her her whole wardrobe and accesorries, her swing, her bouncer, bathe, bumbo play matts, high chair, car seats ect. Her sis told me Jackys really excited since you have almost everything she needs. Im not trying to be mean but does she really expect me to just hand her over everything. I dont even know how to approach this!

Am I being petty and immature?

Answer Question
 
NIKKIANDYBABY

Asked by NIKKIANDYBABY at 7:18 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (153 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I would text back that you have no intention of handing over your baby's stuff. Wish her luck acquiring the needed items with her pissy attitude.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 7:21 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • NO sorry...I'm holding onto it (if you plan on having more kids you are holding onto it for the chance of another girl maybe?) OR you can BUY all my stuff from my daughter but because we do not have a relationship of any kind, I will not GIVE you all of my little girls things. I know I personally have a lot of friends having babies and I have a boy. Most of his stuff his hand me downs from my friends and family. All his stuff that he doesnt use anymore or fit anymore was given to another friend. We circle stuff around. Sorry but if she hasn't done anything for you, why bother helping her out?? I dont thiiink soooo!!!!
    CassiRae3

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 7:24 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • i would just stright up tell her ummm NO you have no intrest in my daughter never really met her and you want her stuff sorry but ask someone else =)
    kolbysmama20

    Answer by kolbysmama20 at 7:24 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I agree w/ the other moms, only I'd probably not be so nice about it! -lol I'd give her a hearty "Bite me!" and tell her the address of the nearest 2nd hand store! I like the idea of telling her you are saving your dau's things for your next one. I'd watch out that the MIL doesnt start funneling things off to her when she's watching your dau. That SIL of yours sounds like a real piece of work! And I thought mine were bad! GL!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:29 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • You two both need to put your diffences aside. Kids don't see comparisons when it comes to their cousins. My kids love playing with their cousins. The kids should be the most important thing then the hate that you might have for your sil. You should be really happy, now you have a neace on the way. I love all my neaces and nephews no mater what. I'm not saying that you should give all your baby stuff to her, I wouldn't go and throw it away becouse you don't want her to have it becouse really your only hurting your neace as well as maybe if you show her that you are treating her girls like your neaces then maybe she will stop being inmiture and start acting like an aunt to your ittle angle as well, then your kids will be able to get to know each other and be as close as most cousins are.
    Kimberly71682

    Answer by Kimberly71682 at 7:29 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I would ignore it unless she mentions it face to face and then let her know how it felt that she has made no attempts to be civil, loving or caring when it came to anything regarding your daughter and it didn't leave a very good trail. Call a spade a spade and let her know you can't treat people with ignorance and disregard then expect them to jump and be there for her. It is OK to be logical and honest, she sounds like a peach. :-) Rise above this all and just live your life. Just send her a congratulaions and leave it alone. Eventually the opportunity will come up to explain that she owes you a huge apology, and until she apologizes there is nothing else which can be done. Do not feel like you owe her anything, you are right here. Chin up, smile and do not hand your things over to her. You might have another girl down the road and even if not those things are yours...... Hugs !!
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 7:31 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Text her back "WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER"
    BraenatsNeeNee

    Answer by BraenatsNeeNee at 2:23 AM on Apr. 3, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN