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Should i be invited to my step kids birthdays or special events?

I have been with my husband for 1 year married and 5 years co living. His children come over to my house every other weekend and I treat them like my own. His has two the come over for the weekend and one that he adopted form his wife first marriage. She is currently on her third and not happy. I have three of my own. I am not aloud to go to any event unless she says its okay. My husband and I have disscussed my feeling but nothing seems to change. EX; This past Monday was his son 14th BD and the three of them wemt out to dinner and I was not aloud to go. Do I have this wrong.

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Denise3961

Asked by Denise3961 at 8:37 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I would say so. My step-mom is invited to everything. She is my dad's wife. Why shouldn't she be invited?
    Renee3K

    Answer by Renee3K at 8:38 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I would find out why you're not invited. You're part of the "family"
    febmom007

    Answer by febmom007 at 8:40 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I think you should be included. You've been with your DH five years and are now married, so to me that means you're in the family and get included in things like birthdays, etc. Although, as a child of divorced parents I will say that sometimes it is really nice on the rare occasions that I am with both of my parents together and no one else is there. It's not like I try to pretend they are still married but as their kid I kind of enjoy it and the dynamic is a lot different if my step dad is there, too. He's not a bad guy or anything it just changes things. But I doubt that is her reason, you being there probably just makes her uncomfortable. Is she the type to cause a big scene if you are all together? If that's the case then I don't think it's worth it because then it isn't about the kids' special day anymore. But I think it's crappy that you get left out and if I were in your shoes I wouldn't be happy about it either.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 8:44 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • i think it's jelousy on the mothers part and needs to grow up and move on... your now int thes kids lives and i don't think it should all be up to her.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 8:45 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • If she is not comfortable I can see that all three of you may not go together. But I would think their mom would celebrate with kids and then you, your husband and the kids would celebrate seperately. I think I would be more irrated that your hubby is having the celebration without you.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 8:45 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Um, yes you should be included. My step-dad was//is involved in all the things that happened to me and my brother and now our children. He is Grandpa to them and I know I would not have it any other way.
    sandbuster

    Answer by sandbuster at 8:47 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • i think u should be allowed ur the step mother,, have u tried goin past him and discussing this with her?
    kimsmith22

    Answer by kimsmith22 at 9:52 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • WOW! i am sorry you are going through this- That is Insane! Your Husband is being Very Disrespectful to you- ( so is his EX but, she doesn't matter b/c your husband should put her in her place!) i can't believe that they Both think you are Good enough to Take Care of the kids when they are at your house but, you are Not Allowed to go to any functions with them! You deserve to be treated So Much Better than that...........

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 10:55 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

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