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Do I just want too much?

Ok...where to even begin. My husband works nights, i work 230-6 at a daycare during the day. We have a 5 month old daughter. So i totally understand where our schedule is totally jacked up and it makes it hard to be able to have any kind of structure. But I am startin to worry about my husband and I's relationship. When i wake up in the morning he is just gettin home from work..he usually naps on the couch while i take care of Avery, then around 2 i leave for work and he gets up to take care of Avery. I get home around 6:30 and he either goes to take a nap or "hangs out" with me and Avery for a bit. But our hang out isnt even time together. He plays his stupid ass Madden game on the ps2 and then i usually get on the internet because there is nothing for us to do together. I don't bother him about playin his game cuz he works hard at work and i feel if he wants to do that to relax then that is fine. If he isnt playin Madden he is watchin football on the tv. First off, I am sooooooooo tired of seeing, hearing and talking about football. Because that is all we ever talk about. He thinks i rly give a shit about the Cowboys. I care cuz he cares, but when i hear about it all the time its very annoying. We never spend time together. And i don't want to sound needy...but i do need SOMEthing. I get we have a daughter together and our schedule gets crazy but i feel we just arn't clicking anymore....

I really hope this is normal....i don't want to believe that we are losing eachother.

Right now he is in the bedroom while im in the living room. We got into a very very small argument about the water bill and now we have this tension...and i dont think its from the actual argument. It just seems like we dont wanna be around eachother. What really upsets me, is i dont want to have sex with him. Im just not in the mood. Im not happy.

I dont know what to do. When we DO get time together, we dont even spend it TOGETHER. Im playin and talking to Avery while he is playing his football and just sayin "ya" to everything i say like he is actually listening.

When Avery is napping ((like now)), we could be spending good time together but we don't. We went to walmart yesterday cuz i told him i wanted us to get a puzzle.  I didnt tell him this...but i figured even though doing a puzzle isnt anything big or serious,..but its atleast something we would be doing together. But we never ended up gettin one  and I just don't know what to do.

Is this normal?? Is this what happens when you have a child and both of you are working?

Im so upset because im starting to feel like maybe we shouldn't be together...and i hate that. I feel that way because our lives are so boring! Im tired of sittin in this apartment..i wanna do something and do something together as a family. Im sick of the same shit every day. I hope im not being too needy.

What do i do?

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Mommy103110

Asked by Mommy103110 at 9:21 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,699 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Sounds like you two need to just talk. Biggest problem in relationships is communication. Having a family is tough. All your focus is on the kid and then it can get selfish, wanting to just have your alone time.

    Have a talk, make a plan. Work out a compromise. First thing is first, find a sitter and go on a date! Have your date nights! Also have your girl/guy nights out or just alone time. Its really a team effort. If you guys care for each other, it will work out. :)
    DaNanny28

    Answer by DaNanny28 at 9:26 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Try to talk to him about how you feel and point out that time for him to play his video game is fine but that your child needs interaction from you both and family time. If you don't want to straight up talk to him try to hint at things and plan things as a family. Since you have a tight schedule try having dinner together every evening without the T.V. on or anything, that is good family time and can give you each a chance to talk to each other about your day and stuff.
    kayaiden8907

    Answer by kayaiden8907 at 9:27 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Thank you! And yes that is exactly what i want..i want to be able to come home from work and us both have dinner together. I feel like dinner as a family is SO important because, like you said, it gives you a chance to have that time together as a family. But its so hard because I don't wanna cook cuz i been up all night with Avery and then just got off work and he doesn't want to cook because he works all night so its just difficult!! Maybe him working nights just isnt gonna work?? I want us to both be able to get home from work together, pick up Avery from daycare/school and then have the evening as a family to do what we want.
    But everything now is just so scattered. ..ugh..
    Mommy103110

    Comment by Mommy103110 (original poster) at 9:35 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • i feel the same way so cant really help but me n my boyfriend was working 2nd together at the same job coming home to the smae house and that was way to much time 2gether so we just recently started new jobs and on 1st still isnt working now he just up in the room watching tv and im in the living room with kolby our 2yo son so i cant give advice but im goin to try the talking thing again and you also should try it and any other ideas we come up with we can share!! =) good luck
    kolbysmama20

    Answer by kolbysmama20 at 9:56 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Try "Marriage Encounter"---it is amazing and you rediscover each other.

    http://www.wwme.org/
    http://www.wwme.org/find-a-weekend.html
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 10:01 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Thank you! I really appreciate the feedback...im gonna see about "Marriage Encounter". I actually talked to my husband tonight and we talked about everything and im not sure how it is gonna be from here on out. But any other time we have talked about stuff it always went back to where the problem was after a few weeks lol so hopefully i got thru to him and ill see where it goes from here.
    Thank you ladies so much..i really appreciate it.
    Mommy103110

    Comment by Mommy103110 (original poster) at 2:10 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

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