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Is my friend asking his pregnant daughter to do to much?(vent and a question-sorry if its long)

my friends daughter(18 yrs) found out she was pregnant in december, iv talked to her and she told me what happened and it was a complete accident, she was on her last couple weeks of the birth control shot, her and her boyfriend used a condom but it ripped when she went in a week and a half later to get her shot again they said her hormone levels were high and to go back in a couple weeks to see if her levels were just high because she was coming off her shot, so she goes back december 6th and they give her another test and shes pregnant they give her an ultrasound and she was pregnant so she tells her dad (my co worker) and he's been really rude to her ever since then.....i text her to see how shes doing once or twice a week and every time i text her shes either sweeping and dusting or cleaning her bathroom and her bedroom....her dad tells her shes not doing ANYTHING but sitting on her ass all day she just posted this status on her facebook

"thanks dad....telling me I don't to anything....I guess me sweeping and dusting and putting the dishes away and keeping my bathroom and bedroom clean.....studying for the driving test and my GED...isn't enough for you..."

now before you say wheres her boyfriend why isnt he helping...he's finishing up classes, and is graduating in 3 weeks and has a job set up for when he's done

her and her boyfriend are looking for places to live already, she found a couple complexes that have some what low income apartments for rent,she studying for her driving test so she's able to drive when the baby comes and shes getting her GED so she can get a job as soon as the baby turns 6 months old, now to me her cleaning the whole house and doing the dishes that she didnt even use that day seems good enough to buy her clothes when she needs them when her belly gets bigger, but to my friend, he expects her to literally do everything, clean the yard, dog and cat poo pretty much...they dont have grass,her doctor told her not to clean any of that stuff and she had to give her pet rat away because her doctor told her to, he expects her to drag 50 pound boxes out of the garage and clean the garage.....i think thats a little to much but thats just me.....

if your teen got pregnant and was doing all the stuff she does would it be a problem to buy her clothes when she needed them or do you expect her to just grow out of everything and not give a shit like my friend?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • He is soooo going to regret treating her this way. He's going to be a grandpa, like it or not and the last thing he should do is alienate his daughter. The deed is done, as a parent I know he must be hurt and disappointed she's pregnant at such a young age, but it's done! He needs to offer support and be there for her as a father too. He needs to suck it up and realize it's not about him now but about his grandchild.
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 11:00 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Pregnant people shouldnt be over exerting themselves, and should especially not be cleaning a litter box.
    samanthar140

    Answer by samanthar140 at 11:02 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • the boyfriends parents are even buying stuff for the baby already....my friend hasn't bought one damn thing for his soon to be grand son, has only bought 3 pairs of pants and a t-shirt for his daughter which shes almost grown out of...i saw her the other day she looked miserable, she feels like she looks frumpy and ugly, she doesnt leave the house because of it either now.....and not to mention her chest was busting out of her bra she bought when she was 8 weeks pregnant....shes 21 weeks now
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:04 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • the boyfriends family doesnt even have enough money to have a full fridge every week and they are buying baby clothes.....it shows how different the families are.....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:06 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I think ur friend is gonna regret it in the long run. I understand that he is upset, but that is no reason to make her do everything. He needs to be more respectful. I think it is rude. I can understand that he wants her to be able to take care of things after the baby is born. But when is comes down to it she is his daughter and sometimes people make mistakes. It is part of life. We have to learn from it, move on and deal with the hand that was given to us
    Clover484

    Answer by Clover484 at 11:11 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Thank goodness their being supportive! Someone really needs to get through to him. GL
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 11:19 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • My parents kicked me out (nicely) on my 18th birthday because I was pregnant. I find nothing harsh about this. I never had help. I had to walk 2 miles to the grocery store and then lug a bunch of groceries back by myself. I am better for it.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 11:21 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • Um, well, I did a whole lot more than that when I was pregnant. It's so easy when it's your first. Try being pregnant with your 5th with no car and a husband that lives 2000 miles away and have to deal with 4 other kids. Sweeping and dusting is nothing (I was walking to and from the local grocery store every other day and carrying groceries home). Pregnant woman are not some fragile crystal vase...they're just pregnant. It's nice to milk it once in awhile but she's not doing too much.
    But he's being an ass and it will come back to bite him. My dad treated me like crap when I was pregnant with my 2nd and 3rd (while we were living with him) and criticized everything I did or didn't do. I barely speak to him any more. If it was my child I would help them out. My BBF was an amazing teen mom because she had support from her parents instead of being treated like crap.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:00 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • well i know shes able to do a lot because she does do a lot more then he thinks....but shes how should i say it.....having a really really hard time with everything, her morning sickness made her lose almost 15 pounds,shes having panic attacks,getting head aches and nose bleeds can barely keep her eyes open,has a constant pain in her knee that she messed up playing sports, she tries her best to do more then what i put in the post but by the time shes done doing all that stuff she is exhausted and feels sick
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:13 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • That's sad. I was 19 when I got pregnant with my daughter. Both my mother and sister wanted me to get an abortion. I couldn't go through with it. Then my mom said she was going to send me to some place in Charlotte, NC, because she didn't want to watch what was happening. I still remember that. Today my daughter is 22. I married her father and we eventually got divorced.

    If her boyfriend's family is being so supportive, why can't she move in with them? At least he will off her back about doing stuff all day.She's eventually going to reach the point that she can't do all that. Why don't you find out what size she wears and get her a couple of outfits to wear. I don't blame your for worrying about her emotional state. But she does need a friend. Her dad needs to realize that even though she is pregnant that she is still his daughter. He will regret what he's doing one day.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:06 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

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