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What would you do in this situation?

I'm going to school to become a nurse (ultimately going for my master's to become a certified nurse midwife). I basically have 3 options:
-Wait another year to get into the local university.
-Move 10 hours away with my husband and son to attend another program this year.
-Move 10 hours away alone, and visit my husband and son as often as possible.

A few issues-
-My husband is unemployed and has been looking for a job for 2 years.
-We have family and support here, but not where we'd be moving to.
-If we stay here and wait another year, we will have no income, as I get paid to go to school as a veteran (this has been our primary source of income, as well as my husband's unemployment, which just ran out last month).
-I don't know that it would be any easier for ME to find a job for the next year, as the market is really saturated here for what I am certified in.
-I DON'T want to be separated from my husband and son for 2 years, and miss out on them and risk my marriage.
-My husband is resistant to moving away from family and support, and I think isn't a big fan of the area where the school is (Long Beach, CA).

I don't know what to do. We've been going back and forth. I think it's best for us to go to Long Beach, all together, but DH is worried that since we don't have support, everything will fall on him, as far as raising our son goes. Also, he's concerned that if he gets a job and our son goes to day care and gets sick, no one will be able to go get him. I feel like my husband really doesn't want to go, but I feel like this is the best thing for our family, as it will have me working a year sooner, and we can then move to where we want to be (not here), where our son can start kindergarten in the school system where we will be later anyway.

I appreciate any suggestions or advice! Thanks!


Asked by musicpisces at 11:29 PM on Mar. 29, 2011 in Relationships

Level 45 (195,010 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • well, how old is your son? is he in school yet?

    my husband didn't want to move to the area we are in now once upon a time, but he came along kicking and screaming.
    now he was a much better job than he had before, and I think moving here is the best move we ever made.
    I'd look towards the move, see if maybe you can find jobs there.

    DH and I were apart for about 6 weeks while making the move and that was long enough for me! once your spouse is no longer part of your every day life, than can be very hard. At least it was for me!
    good luck!

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:28 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Pack the family up and move. You guys may have better luck finding employment there. You can always move back when you're finished.

    Answer by Renee3K at 11:31 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • You can make friends and figure out all of your resources online before you get there, too. I'd say go!

    Answer by bdflykisses at 11:40 PM on Mar. 29, 2011

  • I think you should all go together. I'd point out to him that the move is only temporary, that you have no plans to stay there, and if you had plans to move somewhere else anyway, this will get you there sooner. As far as no one being able to get your son if he gets sick, most employers are understanding if a parent comes to them and says their kid is sick and they need to leave. And you can probably make some friends there that will be able to help you out. Maybe even find a private babysitter who would keep your son even if he were sick. It's all stuff that can be worked out.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:09 AM on Mar. 30, 2011