Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Can you really forgive and forget?

growing up we have always been taught to forgive and forget but i have never really mastered that. is it possible?

Answer Question
 
linah12345

Asked by linah12345 at 3:14 AM on Mar. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (711 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I think it is possible!!That is very hard for me to do as well!!And it seems the older I get the more stubborn and determined I get!!Once I am ticked with someone well you can bet I am not looking back!!I try not to live with hate in my heart because the bible says that we have to not have hate in our heart to be able to love so I have been really working on that part!!But I really do need to work on the "forgive and forget"or the "forgive but not forget"sayings!!!So you are NOT alone!Hope this helps!Thanks,Amanda
    nunuvillemomof2

    Answer by nunuvillemomof2 at 3:32 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • thanx Amanda it will take a long time tho, we have memories which we just cant erase.
    linah12345

    Comment by linah12345 (original poster) at 3:58 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • You'll never forget but as time goes on you can learn to cope and forgive
    toybar02

    Answer by toybar02 at 4:00 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • hmm. i tend to not forget.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 4:02 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • if you dont forget will you have forgiven?
    linah12345

    Comment by linah12345 (original poster) at 4:04 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I have had to forgive my husband for some very big things. We were separated and got back together and are happier now than we have ever been. We communicate better and I even feel like I'm more in love with him than I was before. Have I forgotten everything he did? No, but I also don't dwell on it and I never bring it up if we have a disagreement. The anger and hurt I had towards what he did hasn't disappeared completely but it has faded a lot with time. I'm never going to "forget" what he did but I love him and I want my marriage to work so I've learned to cope with the bad memories and move on for the good ones.
    Court128

    Answer by Court128 at 4:12 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • wise words appreciated
    linah12345

    Comment by linah12345 (original poster) at 4:19 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • the bible (from a religious standpoint) never really says to forgive AND forget. christ never taught that it's okay to be taken advantage of. yes, i think it's possible to completely forgive, and yeah, it may be quite a struggle to do so, but i have never forgotten some really bad things. trick is not to DWELL on them, or obsess over them. i used to do that, and it was slowly killing me. now i just try not to think about it, to fill my life with good things. if i end up remembering, it's not as big of a deal as it was before. i am a much happier person now.
    AngryBob

    Answer by AngryBob at 5:08 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I have gotten better, but I have to admit, sometimes it is easier to hold a grudge. I know it's healthier to let go and forgive, I guess like everything else, you have to pick your battles and figure out what's worth hanging on to and what's not
    joanie70

    Answer by joanie70 at 5:42 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • bet you have a really strong character!
    linah12345

    Comment by linah12345 (original poster) at 5:45 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN