Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

My DD was diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety, and ODD.. :(

How does this happen? One minute were going from living our "normal" lives (what is normal to us anyhow). To finding out our 5 year old DD has all of these underlying issues. I was told once before she had ODD by a pyscologist, but I didn't believe him so went on for a 2nd opinion... That second opinion turned into all 3 things. If there still hope for us? I feel like such a failure as of now.. My poor sweetie...
I also have a 1 year old, and she acts just like how my older DD acted at her age. I am scared I am going to be having 2 kids with the same problems. Does anyone else know of this happening??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:06 AM on Mar. 30, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (8)
  • Do you think she is a little young for all these disorders? I hope they are not wanting to drug her up? Maybe therepy?

    Answer by louise2 at 5:56 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I agree with louise, she is a bit young to be diagnosed with all of these disorders. Some children are very strong willed and it is not ODD. Look into books the describe some parenting styles for parent of strong will children. This does not mean you are a bad mother, it means that you do not have experience with strong willed children. My sister had this problem when her one daughter was small. He older daughter was well behaved, her youngest made her feel she was totally ineffective and incapable of being a parent. My mom bought her the book "The Strong Willed Child" by James Dobson. Being as this was over 10 years ago, I'm not sure if there is a better book on the market but something like this might help.

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:38 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Thats too young to be diagnosed with those disorders. I would question the person who diagnosed her. I have a degree in Psychology and generally speaking a true diagnosis for ADHD does not come until the child can sit for 20 minutes on their own without acting up. That is around 7 yrs old. Second, ODD is not diagnosed in its true form until children are atleast 10 yrs old.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:01 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Uh, yes. It's everywhere. Granted, ADHD (and its associative conditions) is many times misdiagnosed and definitely overdiagnosed but it certainly does happen. That's part of what makes it so hard - kids are getting diagnosed younger and younger and doctors and teachers and parents often look no further or dig down any deeper to get to the root of the problem. Meds (when they work), can only treat the symptoms; that's not an effective form of treatment, imo. If you can get to the underlying cause or causes, you can be successful in treating the cause and alleviating the symptoms in that manner. Bottom line is that, even in this day and age, there is a lot of confusion and disagreement about these types of disorders ... even the experts can't agree on whether ADHD is a neurological condition or a biological one. An accurate diagnosis is key; then effective treatment (does not have to mean meds).

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I doubt it's anything you did wrong. If she does have those underlying conditions then there isn't anything you did, her brain is
    My 10yo has suffered from anxiety for a long time and probably has ODD. It became apparent around 7 years old that she had a problem. Her behavior was out of control...that defiant, stubborn streak that most 3 year olds have never went away. At 7 she still acted like she was 2 or 3 years old throwing full out tantrums when she didn't get her way then taking her anger out on her siblings and blaming everyone else (mostly me) for it because in her mind she doesn't do anything wrong. We are the reason she HAS to hit her 4yo sister since we made her mad. It's crazy. My dd is almost 11 and still throws tantrums like a 2yo almost every day. I have 3 other kids that are well behaved but suffer from abuse from her (she gets violent when anyone makes her mad and everything makes her mad)

    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:00 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Not at all to young if you know what you are talking about. The earlier the treatment the better. Early intervention then blocks further development of ODD. I diagnos and treat all of those. ODD is not uncommon for ADHD. The key is early intervention before behaviors and patterns are fixed. So therapy, parenting/therapy for you and all adults in the home as well as medication for the symptoms of ADHD. There is a lot that goes with that therapy piece. Just therapy alone often does very little to treat true ADHD and ODD.

    Answer by frogdawg at 5:52 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Or, she's just 5.

    Answer by Pnukey at 7:04 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Dobson's book is still the best book on the market for strong-willed children. Both of mine are strong-willed kids. Another good book is Have a New Kid by Friday by Kevin Leman. It's easy and quick to read, and it works, too, because it changes the way you deal with the child, not the way you expect the child to deal with you.

    Even if all these diagnoses are true, they absolutely DO NOT mean (1) that you are a bad mother and (2) you must give your child meds. A year ago, I received similar news about my DS. With talk therapy and lots of behavioral work at home, we have made huge strides. He may need meds someday, and I'm not anti-meds; I'm just anti-meds at this age. You can help your DD similarly; it's hard work, but it will be better for her and for your family to address this now rather than to wait until some magic 'official' age for diagnosis. Young children are more maliable, even the strong-willed ones. Good luck!

    Answer by May-20 at 9:34 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.