Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you slow your kids down?

I heard this in another question and I am curious how do you stop your child from that first experimenting kiss, touch, first sip of alcohol, or other intriguing no no. You might say grounding them or educating them or just saying no, but they are going to do these things or maybe some other thing, so what if you don't like the age they choose to try, then what, how do you slow them down?

Answer Question

Asked by SheriSanchez at 11:46 AM on Nov. 28, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Not to mention what do you do when they have chosen to try these things at an age we don't deem appropriate? How do you keep them from these things, without grounding them forever?

    Answer by SheriSanchez at 11:48 AM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • You don't... If they want to do it they will... All we as parents can do is teach them the consiquences of their actions... And teach them how to do those things safely if they choose to do them.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:48 AM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • I was grounded from 6th grade to 11th grade... **NO KIDDING** No phone, no friends, no freedom... SO, I snuck out or just left. My mother has no idea what was going on... Even now. The best way to deal with that stuff is NOT to forbid it... But to build a good relationship with your kids from day one, so that they can come to you and trust you... My mother and I still try to avoind eachother!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:51 AM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • i think educating and letting them know that if you do this, this could happen. dont forbid it. my parents forbid a lot of stuff so i rebelled in the worst way, had sex early used drugs (i been clean now 8 yrs this coming march) and drank underage and really messed up my life for awhile. dont judge just prepare them the best you can and hope they make the right descion and be there when the mess up and again dont judge them they have to learn like everyone else by making mistakes along the way.

    Answer by bonnie-jo at 11:58 AM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Well that's kindof how I am handling my teen, he has chosen to experiment with everything early, I remind him of consequences and I do ground him, but my husband, my son's stepfather doesn't think I am hard enough on him and it is causing a lot of bad feelings. My hubby's son is punished and he still does dumbass stuff and he is rude and embarrassing to be around so the harsher punishments don't seem to be working to even correct this behavior and it is just extremely frustrating that he always judges me, my son is in a way different catagory and I am just so frustrated, IDK. Sometimes the next 4 years seems very daunting.

    Answer by SheriSanchez at 12:09 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Our children have age milestones for each year so that when they turn another year older, they get another helps that they know when they get to do things at a certain arguments, just the way it is...

    Answer by malam at 2:32 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • That's a good idea, but what about stuff that you would never give them an age for, like kissing a girl or their first drink, I am talking about the forbidden fruits.

    Answer by SheriSanchez at 2:37 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Also malam, what would happen if they did partake of the things even when they wern't allowed?

    Answer by SheriSanchez at 2:38 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Talking and more talking. Share your experiences and let them share theres. Don't flip a lid when they tell you something you don't want to hear. In the end you can't watch them all the time. so make sure that you not only educate but be clear on how you feel about each subject. Education is great, boundries are great but communication is forgotten a lot of times. It may not make a difference in the end but you can know that they thought a little harder about there choice even if it ends up being the 'wrong' one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

  • you dont but i found that the busier my kids are the less trouble they were apt to get into. I do not over schedule them to the point of stress. But when they showed an interest in anything from sports to art or whatever...boom they were playing or taking classes. Idle hands do the devils work! Keep them busy I say.

    Answer by salexander at 6:53 PM on Nov. 30, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.