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2 Bumps

Why have more children when you can't afford the ones you have

My ex called me the other day and told me that he wants to start trying to have a child with his new wife. We have 2 children together and he pays child support and alimony.Anyway, he said they were going over their finances and realized that the way they are going, they can't really afford a child. He had the nerve to then ask me if he could lower his current payments. He pays $1690 for the 2 children and $950 for alimony. He pays this amount of alimony because I worked to put him through school, so it is fair. Anyway, I told him that I am not willing to lesson the payments. His wife doesn't work and they both drive new cars and live in a nice house, the way I see it, if they want to have a child, they should be looking to reduce their own lifestyles, not take from my children. How selfish does he have to be to take from him children before thinking that maybe they could sell a car or maybe his wife could get a job? (it was good enough for me for the first 5 years we were married).

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Mar. 30, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (29)
  • Don't lower the payments. Let him find another way to have the child. Every father pays a percentage (or is supposed to) of their income. He's no acception to the rule.

    Answer by Renee3K at 12:57 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Wow do you live rent free just by what your ex-husband pays you every month? That is a lot!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • There isn't anything you typed that I don't agree with. I thought it sounded pretty nervy of him to even suggest it..and your responses IMO were right on!!

    Answer by meooma at 12:57 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • HA! I hope you laughed in his face!

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 1:00 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Im with you! He should give up his lifestyle to afford a kid not ask you to do with less.

    Answer by vbruno at 1:01 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Anon, I live in a nice neighborhood but no, it does not cover all my bills.Yes, I get quite a bit BUT my ex makes a lot and that is because I worked my ASS off to get him through school and through all of his promotions.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:02 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Good for you for putting your foot down. You're absolutely right, why should the children he currently has get money taken away from them just because he wants another child.

    Answer by Nanixh at 1:11 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • wow my 39.00 a month that i never get is chump change. Lucky you!

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 1:24 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I agree with you and I wish you luck.
    I have never understood why people choose to have kids when they are not able to pay their bills at the very least. It is unfair to the family.

    Answer by minnesotanice at 1:24 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • His wife called me this morning saying that I am trying to keep him from starting a family with her. I told her I have no problem with them having a baby but I am not paying for it. I then suggested that maybe she get a job to make some extra money

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:27 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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