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How do I get my 2 toddlars to listen and stop fighting?

I have a 3 year old, 2 year old and 4 month old all boys, the oldest are 14 mo appart. The toddlars have stopped listening, and are fighting. I know how to deal w/ this, get on their level, be direct, remove them from the situation. Except now atleast half the time I'm either nursung the baby or holding him. I put him down when I have enough time, but most of the conflicts need immediate attention and don't allow for this, i.e. the 2 yo has started bitting. It is also very hard to keep my cool while the baby is screaming because he's still hungrey or tired. I'm starting to scream, that's not effective and makes me even more mad. I know their behavior is a cry for attention. I give lots of praise when they listen and play together nicely. I try to give hugs and kisses all day, and alternate who gets to pick out what we play when we have mommy buddy time. My husband and I spend one on one time w/ each of them on the weekends and I have some time w/ the 2 yo that's all about him once a when the 3 yo is in preschool. I don't have any other ideas. Any suggestions?

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Asked by Justina_W at 1:05 PM on Mar. 30, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Reward chart for the 2 of them? Kids this age can be very competitive and might try to out "nice" each other for some small reward, stickers, treasure chest, etc.
    Loss of priviledges (tv time, etc.) works well for my 3 yo, but I'm not sure that a 2 yo will get it yet, could be worth a try though.
    Hope that helps a little. I'm just getting over this phas myself with a 3 yo and 9 month old twins. It'll get better when the baby becomes a little more independent.


    Answer by Kimedbs at 1:13 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I have 2 year old twins and a 1 year old, so I know exactly what your going thru. I twins love to bit, push, and hit! My 1 year old is learning all of that from the twins. I do see myself scream too and I don't like it. I'm seeing less of the bitting, pushing, and hitting now because every time I see them do it they get put into a time out and tell them no that was really bad and mommy will not put up with any of that. They will cry for alittle bit in time out and when time out is over with I make them give the other child a kiss and a hug and tell them that they are sorry. Ever since I started that I see more hugging and kissing going on than bitting, pushing, and hitting. I also try and give everyone one on one time everyday. Good Luck!

    Answer by momoftwins250 at 1:17 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Well it would all depend on your parenting styles. Like when my two year old started bitting i started dowing it back to him. (not hard or anything) that way he would learn not to do it and after like a week or two he stoped and has not done it since. When my kids are all fighting depending what they are fighting about i will either take the toy away (if its about a toy) put it where they can all see it and sit them on oppisite sides of the couch till one of them apalogizes to the other. Or if its about tv i will make them stand next to the tv on the sides so where they can hear it but can not see it until they can agree on what they were fighting about. Also i am big on "love" so after they are done fighting and no longer mad witheacher i ask them (not frorce) to give eachother hugs and have them say i love you atleast for the 4 year olds the 2 year old just gives the hugs because he cant say i love you yet.

    Answer by michelle.coppes at 1:25 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Thanks ladies. I forgot to mention time outs. I do use those, but the 2 yo doesn't seem to care. I think I'll try the reward chart. I'm afraid it may be to removed from the behavior for my 2 yo, but i could be underestimating him. It's definitely worth a try. Thanks for the reassurance that this will pass.

    Comment by Justina_W (original poster) at 1:33 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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