Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Stepkid causing anxiety?

Her fits are often, I'll say 4 every hour, about petty stuff. Like being held, or not being able to eat candy... so on... Well I literally get to where I almost can not breathe, I can hear my pulse in my ears, and I start sweating horribly, I cant control it and in order to not do something I'll regret or say something I shouldnt I have to leave, i have to get away from it in order to calm down. He takes it as I dont want to be around her because I think shes annoying. She is great, she is not annoying, her fits are. How can I get it in his head that I do want to be around, she is part of him, a permanent fixture as I heard earlier. But how can I get it through his head that I have a hard time dealing with it.

Answer Question

Asked by skay23 at 1:54 PM on Mar. 30, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (3 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Sorry but it sounds like this relationship isnt working for you. This is how children this age act. You said you didnt have any kids and havent been around kids much, and a 3 yr old is someone who is going to have fits, yell, scream, and fight for their way. Why? Because they are 3 and have the attention span of a guppy. You should probably look into some parenting classes if you plan to make this work at all, and maybe some form of counseling with your fiance.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:57 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • YOu tell your guy hey I love your daughter. I really do but I cant handle her fits. If you were her mother biologically you would be dealing with your childs fits so he probably figures you should be willing to stay around when his daughter is having one. After all you married into the situation maybe some family therapy would help the both of you.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 1:59 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • thanks gemgem. I think parenting classes would really be a great idea. I actually thought about going to my doctor to maybe get some meds to help deal with it.

    Comment by skay23 (original poster) at 2:00 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • skay there is no shame in that either! You know they do call Ativan mommys little helpers?

    Answer by gemgem at 2:02 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Haha, I will call my doctor today. I just feel like my hormones are so off balance.. idk...

    Comment by skay23 (original poster) at 2:04 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Having a relationship with children involved can be very difficult, especially if you don't have children or are not used to children. You may want to sit down and re-think this relationship as the child is 3 and you will have 15 more years of dealing with the child and her 'fits'. IF you want to keep the relationship then you may want to consider taking parenting classes and going to couples/relationship counseling.

    Answer by MizLee at 2:07 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Ok... Question again... So her mom in the past 5months has had 2 guys around her, I however have been stable. Her moms first bf didnt have kids, her now bf of a month/fiance and husband to be on june 4th has a daughter same age as my stepdaughter... could she be thinking well i can run daddys fiance off and hell get another one with me a playmate?? because it actaully wasnt that bad until her mom started dating this guy she is going to get marred to

    Comment by skay23 (original poster) at 2:15 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.