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What do I do?

My husband and I just bought our first home a couple of weeks ago. We are all moved in and settled . Before that we lived with my parents. My problem is my mother, shes is upset with me because we moved out. She hasnt spoken to me since like we have normally and when she does shes really rude. I have spoken with my father as to why she is like this and he just says he doesnt know.

This week was my bday and she treated me like crap, yesterday when we were at the family's for thanksgiving she gave me the cold shoulder. I really do love my mom but I think she is being really immature about the whole thing. She ALWAYS does this when I do things for myself and not for her or my father. She can't just be like a normal parent and be happy that I'm all grown up with my own family and life.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Nov. 28, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • continued... I think she does this because she never had a good realtionship with her parents especially her mom. But then one would think she would at least try to be closer to me. I am a mother and I feel that she doesnt respect me for that, I feel like she tries to live her life vicariously through me and when I dont pull through it upsets her. It hurts alot my mom has been the one person that has helpled through some tough times in my marriage. I just dont know what to do. She is very unreasonable, irrational, and selfish.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • You've got to know for yourself that you did the right thing for you and your family...and while you are obligated to your parents to an extent, in your adult life you're strictly obligated to doing what is best for your own husband/SO and children. My parents have not been thrilled about some of the decisions my SO and I have made for our family (me not moving when he moved for work, namely) but for us it worked best because we don't want to take a beating if we were to sell our house and we don't want the move to be permanent. It is a decision we made that was best for OUR family...you're making decisions that are best for YOUR family and she will either come around or she wont, but you cant sacrifice making decisions for your family to make her happy.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 12:54 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Are you an only child or the youngest/last one to leave home? It sounds like she liked having you dependent on her like still able to care for you and now you are becoming more independent, buying a house is a very "adult thing" and may have been the wake up that her baby is an adult.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • You mention that she's been there for you through all sorts of things. Sounds like she needs YOU now. She's feeling empty nest syndrome big time...as well as feeling her apron strings being stretched thin. Maybe you should take the parent's role and reach out to her this time???
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 2:04 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • She wants/likes for you to depend on them. Now that you dont, she might be feeling powerless. I hope she is not feeling some jelousy as well.
    Yve538

    Answer by Yve538 at 2:06 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • if sounds like a severe case of separation anxiety if ever i heard it , this mother is being really selfish ,she shouldnt make you feel bad about moving on with your life ,You are married and have children when is she going to realise you are a grown mother with your own family . I think you should stop going round untill she realises what she is doing to you .
    loulou332

    Answer by loulou332 at 3:47 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

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