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How to nip my 7 year olds bullying tendancies in the bud. Need Advice!

My seven year old daughter is, for the most part a well-rounded, good-hearted child; however, this year she's been displaying some behavior I'm concerned about. She's an only chid (for now, although there's one on the way), and she can be bossy to her peers and uses bad judgement. Today her principle called because she'd waved her finger that had peanut butter on it, pretending to touch a child who has bad peanut allergies. This is obviously unacceptable, and we're lucky the child didn't actually make contact with the peanut butter, or suffer a reaction.
We've discussed bullying and thinking before acting til I'm blue in the face, but this calls for a more punitive measure. What do you think would be the appropriate reaction/ punishment for her? Please help!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Mar. 30, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (9)
  • Based on what you've posted that doesn't really sound like bullying. Why was she threatening the other girl?

    Answer by UpSheRises at 2:20 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • If she were mine, when she got home from school this afternoon, I would set her butt on fire. What she did to that child is cruel, and I have a grandson with peanut allergies and she could have killed him. She needs to be reminded of that fact.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:20 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Maybe she should have to do some research & write a report on #1 ~ bullying & the possible results of it. & #2 ~ Peanut allergies & all the ramifications of it. I think I'd be spanking my kid's butt over the peanut butter inncident first. That's outrageous to treat another person like that when it could be so dangerous.


    Answer by ghostwriter777 at 2:24 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • At my (boyfriend"s) son's school, they have a name, check mark on the board system where they get marks for bad behavior... everyday after school, my bf asks his son how he did @ school and depending on his behavior @ school he is either aloud or not aloud to play video games or activities that he enjoys when he gets home. so really he is rewarded for his good behavior. and punished for bad. and he knows that if he is bad @ school, he gets punished @ home. his son is also 7, and this seems to work very well for him.

    Answer by sarahlu at 2:26 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Have her write a letter of apology to the other kid. you can help her. make sure she understands why this is serious-allergies can be airborn, deadly, etc.

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 2:26 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Show her graphic pictures of what can happen to someone who is allergic to peanuts, what happens when they come into contact with them. I would be beyond pissed!!!! Imagine if that was your kid that was allergic, and someone did that to them.

    Answer by minimo77 at 6:44 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Holy crap, good-hearted my ass. I've taught my peanut allergic kid to bitch slap kids like that.

    Answer by Pnukey at 7:00 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I have a 7yr old daughter my self and i also and pregnate with our 2nd child. My daughter to was becomming bossy and would be rude if her friends didn play what she wanted. So i turned it around on her. Mommy treated her the way she has been treating the other kids. She did not like it and even cryed but she relized how she had been hurting the others. Now she is alot better.

    Answer by TameraD at 3:32 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Your child might not be mean or a bully....she may just have issues with impulsivity. Impulsiveness can sometimes look like a child is being spiteful or mean when in reality they have a thought and then there is no filter - they just do it. I get what you are saying about being a good kid in general - just does things that are really "dumb" sometimes. This is where we go: What were you thinking?! And the answer is usually they weren't. If you can I would suggest finding a really good counselor, not with the school, who is licensed and works with kids. A few months of sessions may help with recognizing personal space, boundaries, impulse control, and the therapist may have some additional insight.  Most parents wait until their child has been given detension, suspension, or truly hurt another child before they seek help.  For best results, if you have hints now, seek assistance for her.


    Answer by frogdawg at 9:50 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

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