Well, it's probably easier to respond to a specific scenario, or to use examples to illustrate "how I do" whatever I do, lol, (I am not sure if you are having trouble with handling upsets between them or if it's more that you're struggling with parenting demands, how it's flat-out hard to meet the needs of two small people the same age & level), but I will give you the essential basics for my approach to my kids (I have twin boys who are 32 months old.) Empathy and validation. This means that when I'm encountering problems between them, or encountering resistance to what I'm trying to do or introduce (getting in the car or changing a diaper, etc.), I connect to how what he(or they) feels makes sense (how it isn't just "wrong," even though it's a problem for me or my agenda), and I communicate that awareness to them. In this way I'm validating them, not resisting them (and wanting them to change/thinking they SHOULD change.
at 1:27 PM on Apr. 1, 2011