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4 Bumps

Difficuilty accepting I'm pregnant, please help.

My mom has 4 girls. The oldest is happily married w difficulties getting pregnant, but w careful planning & doctors help her prayers to b pregnant finally came true (14 wks). I have always been single, never had an urge for having my own child but God gave me the same blessing (16 wks). Then we find out my little sister is 7 weeks pregnant. My oldest sister is so angry w me cause I can't grasp my blessing. I'm single, my boyfriend was abusive, so I left 2 months ago. Soon after got fired from my job of 5 years. Got in a car accident, lost my vehicle. I wish she'd help me but I don't want to stress her out. I understand where she's coming from, but that's not my life.

My little sister & her boyfriend are overjoyed. They're really good to each other. They're both stay-at-home mothers. I really want to love this experience but I feel my mind is stressed, sad, envious. I love my growing belly but I'm so used to my single crazy life. What do I do to open my eyes/mind to what's going on? To embrace this experience.

 
shynu

Asked by shynu at 3:25 PM on Mar. 30, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 16 (2,762 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • I got pregnant with my first son real young with a big loser who i knew eventually would leave me. i was not excited about being pregnant. I had my days where I thought it was good but a lot of days i would just cry bc i didn't know what to do with a baby........when he was born i was afraid to hold him. he scared me and i felt very guilty about it. after he was here i loved him of coarse but i did not feel that mother/child connection until he was a little older. i am sure you will be fine! I wasn't religious at all then but now i do turn to God to help me through struggles and it would be worth a try :)

    I now have a loving husband, 2 kids and a third on the way. Even though there are hard times I can't believe how happy i am just being a mom and having a family. GL!
    Ethans_Ma

    Answer by Ethans_Ma at 7:20 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • You are overwhelmed, stressed, feel alone sorta say with no partner there to support you. I feel for you, stay strong & enjoy this time being pregnant as it goes by fast & soon you will have this beautiful baby looking in your eyes, loving you, and you will feel love like you have never felt love before..... and it will will be all good and life changing for you trust me. Keep yourself healthy try not to stress to much and look forward to your adorable child. GL to ya.....
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 3:29 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • You shouldn't feel like you are required to be happy...you have a lot of reasons to feel aprehensive. I would focus more on addressing your concerns, like employment and emotional support during and after your pregnancy than I would on trying to get excited.

    You have a duty to attend to your health and prepare for your baby, you don't have a duty to be over-joyed. That will happen with time.
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 3:32 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I honestly didnt really feel "pregnant" like an attachment untill i really started to feel the baby move. I was always excitied and I did whatever I had to do to keep the baby, but when i feel sad ( because you just have those days) i look at all her little things. I look at the ultra soun pic from 7 weeks to her 15 weeks ultrasound, and i just know she;s growing and living.

    It's a lot to take in.
    juniebug11

    Answer by juniebug11 at 3:37 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • What are the things you are going to do with your baby? When s/he can crawl? Can walk? What games will you play? How will you teach him/her? Will you tickle him/her?

    Imagine those things. Imagine scenarios you will be in with him/her.

    If you can think of those things and start to feel happy then you will be fine. If you can't then maybe you need to look at your options.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 3:32 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Being a single mom is really scary. You have to overcome all the bad stuff that happened to you that lead to you raising your little angle by yourself.  Now you have to be mom and dad... thats why you are so worried.  It makes it harder for you then both of your sisters,  but your baby needs you.  He/she couldn't count on his dad.  It is hard and under appreciated bbumput worth it.

    Kimberly71682

    Answer by Kimberly71682 at 3:38 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • It's tough - don't pressure yourself to feel a certain way right now. I was told many times during my pregnancy that there is a reason women have 9 months to get used to the idea before the kid arrives... and I think this is really true!! You need to give yourself time. It's wonderful that your sisters are so happy, but you are in a different place and your feelings are legitimate too. Continue taking care of your body, and just put your efforts into dealing with the other life things (job, car, what not).

    Do you think that if you explained how you are feeling to your sister, she might come around? And if not, then what about other family or friends. Every mama-to-be needs support from people who care about her. The best is to find someone to talk to who will let you be truthful about your feelings without judgement. Good luck!!
    Sebbiemama

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 3:39 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • i think it is fear that you have when i was new mother i to had that fear my hubby had just lost his job how was going to feed this child let alone take care of it but i knew i could and would ,you just have to get pass it it won't be ease but yes you can do it ,alot mother's have been where you are and you are not alone this your child hold it love it .when it is born you will be amazed in what you have a gift from god ,with all the hardship you have experience you get blessing from god
    he new you where down and new you can do this so don't look this as why me and now this ,smile dust your self off and move on and good luck
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 3:41 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Focus on the love and joy... It's so easy to be stressed well can we say hormones? Things are hard right now but know and trust that it will get better.
    Elysium927

    Answer by Elysium927 at 4:01 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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