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Would it hurt the same if your (not yet) husband cheated on you after only dating a month?

We barely knew each other and he was having an affair. I found out and we broke up. A few weeks later we ran into each other and got back together. He has been with me faithfully ever since and we've been married 2 years now together for many more.

It hurts me but not too much.
I'm wondering if I was stupid for going back or if the first month of dating doesn't really count.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Mar. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Hmmm good question. I think it would forever be in the back of my mind showing his character, BUT it was only one month & not serious, so roll with it he loves you its been 2 yrs.
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 3:38 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Dont be suprised if it ever happens again. No you werent married at the time but it does say alot about his character.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:39 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Cheating is cheating. Whether you were together a day or a year it's still cheating. If he cheats on you again then that would make you "stupid" for going back. Only time will tell. Without trust in a marriage you have nothing. Best of luck to you.
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 3:40 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I dont know how you did it. married or not you guys were still in a dating/sleeping relationship and some type of commitment. So if he cheated once.. chances are it could happen again, only the next time he may be more careful now that you are married. and why does it hurt you still. If you took him back then married him you must have forgave him for it. Hope it continues to work out for you.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 3:42 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • If you married him after finding out,it is seriously time to let it go. You are not stupid for going back if you love him and are happy. Stressing over it will not change what happened,but it will cause a rift between the two of you.
    thecoffeefairy

    Answer by thecoffeefairy at 3:42 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I don't bring it up nor do I dwell on it. I also don't doubt his fidelity. But in my mind and heart it does effect me at times.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:44 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • If you are cheated on ever it is a betrayal and hurts... However you have been married for two years so let go. Live in the present moment. If it's hard to let go share how you feel with a therapist. You don't want this to fester and affect your marrage.
    Elysium927

    Answer by Elysium927 at 3:44 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • This happened to me. Been married for five years and it's pretty insignificant now. We didn't know eachother that well. I'm not going to hold it against him. You just have to decide if you love him enough to get through it. My husband has proven more commited to me than I could ever imagine. Hes a great father too. So I don't believe that once a cheater always a cheater. He made a poor choice. You know your man better than we do. Is this in his character?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • you were just dating for a month i would be upset but i wouldn't let it get to me. its not like you were really exclusive to each other. forget about it.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 3:47 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater either. My husband is very loving and very family oriented. We have a son who he worships. We have been together almost 8 years and I have never doubted him since then. Thank you Anon for sharing that, it helps.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:47 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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