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My 7 year old son was touched at school by a female classmate. What do I do??

We found out a couple of days ago that a young girl in my sons class has been touching him on his private parts, and that she told him to put his hand in her pants. This happened in class and once on the playground on the outside of his pants. He said he only touched her once. When asked why he said "she told me to". And when i asked him why he let her touch him he said "because she asked if she could". "She asked me to be her boyfriend and I said ok". Is it strange that he is so agreeable and willing to do what ever anyone asks? Did we teach him to be to kind? To be to agreeable? We have notified his teacher and the school. Its Spring break and school resumes on Monday which is when we are scheduled for a meeting with the principle. "UPDATE" We met with the Vice Principle and Principle this morning. They seamed shocked and concerned about what happened. They told us they would talk to the girl and also inform her to stay away from my son. (We our keeping our son home from school today). Also depending on what the girl tells them they will contact her parents. Not sure if  this will be handled the way we feel it should. Can they keep my son safe at school?? Should we go over the school and call CPS?? ..... I've bought and checked out at the library every book i could find (age appropriate) about bodies, private parts, good touch, bad touch. He will also talk to the school counselor.  Is there anything else i should be doing?????    

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I.need.advice

Asked by I.need.advice at 5:27 PM on Mar. 30, 2011 in Kids' Health

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • This is why I am homeschooling my children, there is a 10 yr old in our town that is pregnant. There are too many bad infulences on our children these days, I even sold our tv because in my opinion there is nothing modest on tv anymore not even the commercials are appropriate for children. I'm not sure what I would do in this situation, you definietly need to teach him that no one is allowed to touch/look at his privates. I wish you the best of luck with this and will pray for you in the difficult situation you and your family are dealing with.
    L0vingMy3Girls

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 5:35 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • You just need to have a talk with him without making him feel guilty. You need to tell him it is NOT okay to let others touch his privates w/o Mom or Dads permission. Not even the Dr. He needs to know what shetold him to do was not okay. I know how upset you are. Thankfully he wan't physically harmed. My other question would be How the HELL did he put a hand in her pants in the classroom without anyone else seeing?
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:36 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • You need to bring this up with the school. There may be something going on at this girl's home that may be making her think that this is ok. You should reinforce to your son that this is not ok for children to be doing even if it feels good.

    I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry for your situation, but I think it needs to be looked into much much deeper.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 5:39 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I could be wrong, but if it was me I'd speak to the school psychologist about this and see if this girl should be counseled to see if she's a sexual abuse victim.
    This sounds a lot like a little girl that lived in our neighborhood. She was only around 1st grade age and was giving my baby brother notes that he couldn't even read yet asking him to come over and have sex.
    She'd tell the boys, 'look at me I'm so hot', and lift her skirt.
    After a while if she'd be around the boys in the neighborhood at all, her father would come charging along, take her away in a way that seemed like a jealous man instead of a angry father.

    Things got pretty hush hush about this girl after I told my mother who was a nurse that something seemed off. Then you didn't see the little girl around and her parents claimed she was staying with family members and moved away. I know you are upset, but please try and see if this girl is being abused

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • now is the time to have 'that' talk with him, what is appropriate/what is private..not necessarily the ins/outs of sex, but if it opens the door to questions by him, answer them honestly and directly, as you know he comprehends. its right that you contacted the school and are having this meeting.
    you don't know what the other child has been exposed to, and you are very lucky your ds told you what occurred. this way, you can control from your end how this might get played out by the other parent(s).
    its not necessarily a reflection on your parenting, just a bold reminder that your job isn't finished, and he's reached a new level of needing-to-know and you are the one to properly equip him with the correct answers/info. its your best defense against something worse happening in the future.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 5:40 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Because you taught him about other bad people and not the ones who are his age or close to him. We teach them about the older people but forget there are people their age capable of this. Teaching him critical thinking and to say no helps
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:41 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • If I was his mom, first I would talk to him about it, and make sure that he understands that this behavior is innappropriate. It may be necessary to gauge how this has effected him by observing his behavoir over an extended period. Then I would make sure to follow up with the Principal. This is a serious situation, because chances are that a girl of 7, behaving this way, has been or is being sexually abused. In fact I would be willing to bet money on that. Most often the abuser is someone within the child's life (family member, caretaker, or neighbor). By notifiying the school, you have taken the first step in getting her some help. I it were me, I would make sure that the school has looked into this, if they haven't done anything, I'd want to make sure to notify child services - but that's just my opinion. Good luck.
    ts-all

    Answer by ts-all at 5:43 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • this is a sign that the little girl is being abused :-( 7 year olds should not do that, and I am willing to be that someone is abusing her.

    Reinfforce to your son that her never let anyone touch him there no matter who it is.
    momof5kiki

    Answer by momof5kiki at 5:46 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • 1) Talk to your son about private parts being private on a boy and a girl. This is not just about other children, it's for his safety with some adults who may have issues as well. It's not just in a school that this can happen, it could be in a church or with a family member (although we would like to think otherwise)

    2) Contact the school. This girl truly could be a victim of abuse herself. That type of behavior are the red flags being raised.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:09 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Thanks so much for so many quick responses and great advice! This situation has made my husband and I so upset. We feel we have failed in keeping him safe and have not prepared him well enough to handle bad situations. I'm very scared how this will effect his development. (He just turned 7 and is in the first grade). We have had a couple very long talks with him in the last couple of days. I think he understands the seriousness of what happen at school. But also trying really hard not to make him feel bad or embarrassed.
    To answer the question about how the Hell know one saw what was happening in class? I wondered the same thing. One of my questions was "Were was your Teacher?" His response "At her desk".
    Thanks Again for the advice.. All the advice i can get is very much appreciated. So please keep the comments coming..
    I.need.advice

    Comment by I.need.advice (original poster) at 6:57 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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