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If your kids are older.. What was your parenting "rules"/style?..

If you have adult kids now..
What was your parenting rules or style?
Did you spank? Use time out? Chores (and did u pay them?)
Looking back what would you like to have changed?
Are your kids "thriving" in the real world? Or do they feel entitled to get certain things from you (help paying college, rent, car).

What is some advice you would want to give to parents now?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Mar. 30, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • We had a more relaxed style I would say. We talked constantly about kindness and respect and we always encouraged them to talk to us about anything. We didn't explode about things. Many times their friends would come and ask our advice too because they knew we listened. We definitely had rules and they knew they were to be followed. We took away the most important thing in the world to them as punishment. It worked for us. No allowance until jr high. And chores were sort of a family thing....like yard work on the weekends, etc. I would have changed that by teaching them to do laundry earlier maybe. But I was a SAHM mom then. They took care of their own rooms. One was a picky eater and we got all stressed out about that. I wish we had handled that differently!! They are thriving today. Both college grads, very responsible with their money, and good, kind people. I would encourage young parents....
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:17 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • ..........to remember they are teachers first. Kids do not come into the world knowing how to act and they model after those in their immediate environment.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:18 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • My style was flexible, I would listen to what they had to say, always there, always aware, involved, on top of everything that concerned them. I had three and one of them was ten years younger, when I went through the teen crisis, I demanded respect above all, and instilled pride in anything that carried their name, and in the family unity. Today my kids are 233, 32. My first born thrives to no end, she has written a book, found a partner for life, and became head of her department at school, she is a dedicated high school teacher, with a Masters in her field. My middle daughter , got her bachelors and found a very good company to work for and has received numerous promotions already, making a large amount of $, and my youngest one, my son just graduated with honors at FSU, and has only been able to find a part time in his field, since the economy is bad. He is welcome to stay as long as he needs.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:02 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • *33* lol!
    older

    Answer by older at 7:02 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • My kids and I have a running joke now. I say, "too much affection and not enough discipline". They just look at me and roll their eyes. Seriously though, just being there. I have put my kids first since my divorce. They know Im there for them 24/7. They respect me b/c of that and they know they can depend on me. In return, I do get that back from them. I get respect, I get love. It all comes back to you. :)
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 7:06 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I was strict and loving. I didn't let them go to co ed sleep overs. I didn't let them go to a friends house unless I met the parents. Grades had to be kept up or they were grounded. Homework had to be done before going out to play. They had chores they had to do before being able to do certain things. They could pick one after school activity at a time, I wasn't spending my life at activities. They got grounded if they didn't follow the rules or if they talked back.
    They also were told I love you plenty of times and got a lot of encouragement, hugs and praise.

    My oldest are now 21 and 23 and both are serving in the US military like their father, grandfather and great grandfather before them.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:12 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • this house works when we all work together at one point i did pay them now that they are older i feed them
    yes when they where small i spank but i now tap their behind just let them know even though they are taller then me i can still put them over my knees ,and my kids want car or phone they must work for it like i did and my father before me and his father thats how we grow to become adults
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 11:43 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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