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I was wondering do you have to be a mom in order to really be on this site???2.My boyfriend and I want to have a baby. There's a but i'm a type of person who doesn't wants to go through any struggle meaning finanical wise. We both have goals i want to be a nurse and he wants to be a computer technician. should we wait until we get through our goals first and then have a baby??But we also want to have our kids at a young age( i'm 21 and he's 23) should we wait????

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EmpressILeasha1

Asked by EmpressILeasha1 at 8:22 PM on Jul. 9, 2008 in Pregnancy

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Answers (21)
  • I think it's just a site for women in gerenal, I see women on here who are not mom's but would like to be or cant at all because of fertility issues. So no I do not believe it is a site just for moms
    JustinScottsMom

    Answer by JustinScottsMom at 8:24 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • lol and to answer your question maybe wait a little bit I wanted to have my kids before I hit 30 that was a big issue for me, because I was still young enough for them and anything we needed to do to get on our feet we had time.
    JustinScottsMom

    Answer by JustinScottsMom at 8:26 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • This site isn't just for moms. It's for those who want to be moms too! :) Also you don't have to be a biological mom. You can be a foster mom, an adopting mom, a step mom, etc. :) You can be trying to concieve, pregnant, already have children, or just thinking about the future when you might have kids. :)

    As for when you should have children...that's something only you and your s/o can answer. I had my eldest when I was 23. I think that was a good age and a good time for me. My youngest was born at a time when we really couldn't afford a baby. But we managed.

    There is no right or wrong time to have a baby IMO. If the time is right you'll know it and that's when you should go for it. :)
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 8:31 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • well welcome...on your question though i say get married first and kids later....it's better
    kimsboys

    Answer by kimsboys at 8:34 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • since you are already doubting yourself at this moment, i think you should wait...i never planned on having a baby, it just happened...i would have waited maybe 2 or 3 more years...

    but on the other hand, bringing a baby into this world when you both will have such DEMANDING jobs might not be right either, (not saying you should hold off on your dreams)
    xandersmama22

    Answer by xandersmama22 at 8:35 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I figure many dads have to pull double duty as moms too. Divorced dads are "mom" when they have the kids. Widowed dads are "mom" all the time. Even dads who are still with mom want to know more about parenting issues. It is mostly moms here but men are not banned.

    Only you can decide when the time is right. You will both reach your goals fairly quickly (2-4 years at a guess) and will still be young. You will also have steady incomes and may have employer help with insurance.

    You might think this is old-fashioned but I think of it as common sense - you should be married before the baby. If something should happen to one of you, this makes things much easier for the child to get death benefits. It is also too easy for even the greatest guy to pack up and walk out when the stress of a baby hits. Babies do NOT cement a relationship - they show up every crack and fissure in glaring bright light. If you guys are serious, make it official.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 8:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I agree that you should have your children fairly early in life, but keep in mind that it will make it harder to go to school, especially if you were both wanting to go to school at the same time. I go to school online with Baker college and LOVE it. I have a 2 year old daughter and one on the way, but I just finished my associates and started my bachelors. My sister is in a nursing program and I have her daughter all day twice a week so she can go to class. Make sure what your support system will be (like what my sister and I will do) and really examine your budget first.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 8:51 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • From a Christian perspective, I think you should at least wait untill your married.From a logical perspective I think you should wait untill your married.If you feel like you're too young to get married or just not ready for that type of committment yet, chances are you two are not ready for having a baby together whether you've reached your goals or not.Afterwards, I'll think your answer will come to you much easier.
    callico

    Answer by callico at 8:54 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Welcome hun. We are women and this site is for all! To be moms... old moms..young moms anomoyus moms, hippie chic...christians ect...sign on I would love to add as my friend!
    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 9:13 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Think of it this way: what was once thought of as "young" is getting older every day. People are living to be much older than they used to. My Mom was 39 when she had me 26 years ago, and she was pretty old. Now, some of my sisters who are pushing 40 (or older) and are having kids are still plenty young.

    Provide the best kind of life you can for your child, be in a stable relationship and be able to keep food on the table and a roof over his or her head. More than anything else, think about the welfare of your future child, not what you want or think you might be ready for. Good luck! :)
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 9:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

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