I have a great relationship with my 8 yr old sd. I am pregnant with my first child at 32 weeks. At first she was so excited to be a big sister. I have been doing all I can with making her feel important and included. She helped pick her sisters name, I've scheduled ultrasounds on days she is with us, we have girl time and I stress how important she is to me and the family. Now that the due date is nearing the green eyed monster is coming out. There has been a lot to do to prepare for the baby since I have a scheduled c at week 37 due to an ovarian mass that looks like it could be serious so there is a bit of added stress there. She got angry when my dh told her and she said you just want her sooner. He explained that with the birth being scheduled we can do it during our time together so her sister can meet her right away. I shared that I don't want the baby to come sooner but explained I'm sick so we need to do it this way so we are both safe. As we prepare for the baby it has become if baby's sisters room is painted her room should be, we got a crib she wants a new bed, etc...
We have made a point to give her a "big sister room" new linnens pictures etc but nothing seems to be enough. I explain she has a great room, nice bed, toys and clothes and her little sister has nothing at all so we have to do a lot right now but she is still important. She has made comments that she is only a part time sister which breaks my heart... I know this is coming from her mom who chooses to be angry. When my dh and I got married she told her daddy would have no time for her with a new wife. She quickly found that wasn't true. My dh is still battling over time and alimony with his ex he is an amazing father and we want the girls to have the best relationship possible. It's hard to compete with the brainwashing. Going to court over time for spring break, trying to get time for her sisters birthday (at least being scheduled we can kind of controll that) everything is a battle and we want what is best for the kids. I tell my sd all the time she is lucky because there are more people in her life that love and care about her. It's exhausting with my health, the court drama, and working so hard to help my sd feel safe. I never speak ill of her mother and when she shares things she hears I just say well she loves you so much and we can't change how she feels. All that anger isn't healthy for my sd and I'm sure it's confusing her with a baby on the way. Everyone says the ex will back off but hasn't for years. She just tries to find ways to control. Any advice or anything that worked for you would be appreciated.
Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on Mar. 30, 2011
Answer by matthewscandi at 7:51 PM on Mar. 30, 2011
Answer by MaryMW at 8:57 PM on Mar. 30, 2011
Answer by sweetangie79 at 4:38 AM on Mar. 31, 2011
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