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I messed up and now how do I fix it?

So my boyfriend got suspicious for some reason and pulled up my cell phone logs and found that I had been texting one person A LOT, late at night, and after I told him I had gone to bed and just about everyday. Theres nothing going on between us, but we had slept together once almost 2 years ago when me and my boyfriend were separated but we've been friends since high school (5 years or so). Then he went through all my email accts and thought I was talking to teh wrong people too much.
How do I tell him that I only love him and that nothing is going on? I've alerady told him I dont care if I never talkt o any of those people again, even my friend from H.S.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Nov. 28, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • If he doesn't trust you there's really only two options:either y'all seperate and move on..
    or y'all sit down together and have a nice long talk about the whole situation.

    Either way it goes you cannot have a relationship with a person if there's no trust.

    Answer by vicki1130 at 3:16 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Well... umm I'm not sure what the "fix" is. If I found out my hubby was staying up late at night talking to a woman (not related to him) I'd be very suspicious. I'm not sure how I'd get over it since it's not happened but it's going to take some time for you bf to forgive you for spending your nights with someone else (regardless of what the conversations were about). You lied about already being in bed and that makes it look worse than it was.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:21 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • i think what has made him suspicious more is the fact that you have been secretive about it ,maybe if you had been honest with your b/f about your friendship with the h/s friend there would nt be an issue ,i guess you need to sit and chat with him and explaine the situation ,it might take him a while to feel able to trust though .

    Answer by loulou332 at 3:38 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • i had something like this happen but reversed it was him and i made it clear how i felt about it and he doesnt talk to the person i have a problem with anymore and we still fight about it it takes a long time to rebuild trust when it has been broken even if you really didnt do anything ya know? butmy bf tells me all the time he is commited to us and having this work that helps but we are now still working on the trust issue

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 4:01 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • Well … if you reverse the situation – ask yourself how would this have made you feel?
    Same as he is feeling right now? If you look here, see other questions posted by many mom’s how they have had almost same situation. Their BF DH got suspicious or weren’t but somehow they grab the phone, check the e-mail, grab the phone bill but noticed something that wasn’t right. Something that their man has hiding from them. Talking to another women behind their back and when they ask them the answer was its just an old friend, or turns out it was something more. You can’t hide things specially like that from your partner. If you love them you certainly can’t. If you are just talking to a certain old friend you still need to let your women or men know because eventually no one really gets away with it.

    Answer by 20_mama_3 at 7:25 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

  • (cont)
    I understand how your men is feeling right now. am sure you will too if he was the one who had done it. If you had told him about this friend sooner and told him you were talking to him am sure he would have understand. I know I text my friends once in a while (guys friends) And my bf is ok with it. I can’t say this situation hasn’t had happen to me because it has. But wasn’t me it was him. And knowing he hid things like that from me it hurt. Talking to him and understanding him can help.
    Maybe am wrong – but who knows.

    Answer by 20_mama_3 at 7:27 PM on Nov. 28, 2008

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