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Relationship issues...cry out for help. { Long-ish story}

I recently found out I'm pregnant with baby number two. Me and the father of Chloe have gotten back together as of December '10 and everything was going just fine until his ex started getting into the middle of things. He's been ignoring me, skipping appointments for our 7 month old and totally ditched our new baby's appointment. He proposed to me in February on Valentine's Day but absolutely REFUSES to work on relationship problems. Its like he doesn't even care. Every time I try to get him to make love, he pushes me away. And every time I try to talk about our new baby thats growing in the oven or our wedding, he simply just ignores me and walks out and stays gone FOREVER. I love him a lot, but I'm breaking down emotionally. I really need some good honest advice. You can message me if you want, but i really need some advice. Please and thank you.

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xxmarissaxx89

Asked by xxmarissaxx89 at 8:43 PM on Mar. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (36 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • You need to do what is best for you and your kids. Move on.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 8:46 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • best advice, if he wont accept help.. like relationship counseling it's time to go. don't get married to a problem man and think you can fix him.. he has to fix himself and see the errors in his way!
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 8:46 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Sounds like he is scared, and the only way his "ex" could get in the way is if HE allowed it,, I would bet if you don't call him text him, and the next time he calls you say your "busy",,, he might change his tune,, if not then he isn't worth crying 1 more tear over!!!! You have 2 kids to raise,, and I bet a good and kind man is out there somewhere, but your not going to be able to find it if your all wrapped up in him! Huggles to you!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:56 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • He is not making you or your needs a priority. His behavior is consistently lacking of any love or concern. You need to begin to accept that this relationship will never be what you want, and you need to move on and begin to make a life of your own for you and your children.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:16 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Stop wearing the ring. Don't answer his calls/texts, maybe that will get his attention. Although, I think it would be best to just end the relationship all together, it sounds like he's already checked out. He's not treating you the way he should, give another good shot, demand he does the right thing and if he doesn't, end it. Pick up the pieces and do better for yourself and your babies. You deserve it, and you will have it. He never will, if he ruins this.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 9:31 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Girl - he is telling you everything you need to know by his actions. He is telling you he isn't interested. I would never let a man treat me that way pregnant or not. Why waste time and energy on someone who "isn't that into you"? Take care of yourself and your kids and move on. I know easier said than done. I'm not being sarcastic but it sounds like you get pregnant very easy perhaps not in ideal situations - I would SERIOUSLY find a better method of birth control, I feel like perhaps you are partially responsible here - perhaps he feels like you trapped him by this 2nd pregnancy with a 7 month old ready. No judgment - just devil's advocate and a different view.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 9:34 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • @ 8Tinkerboo8: Of course im partially responsible for this. I understand that, but thats not my main concern. I know that it takes two people to make a baby and all that, and yeah, we should have been more protected, my thing is just trying to get the balls big enough to end it with him. We've been through SO much together, and its like when were happy, were inseparable. But he never tells me im beautiful anymore, hes never home, or anything. I've tried what raine2001 said, i havent wore my ring, ive been ignoring him and he takes that as oh i can do whatever the eff i want to and you won care. Well, sorry babe, but i do care. I know i need to end it, its just trying to get the guts to do it because im honestly afraid of being alone and pregnant. It terrifies me. I did it with my 7 month old, and i dont want to do it again. And i cant leave and be with my friends, because he makes a big deal of it, and im just sick of the BS.
    xxmarissaxx89

    Comment by xxmarissaxx89 (original poster) at 9:40 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I hear you girl and I seriously wasn't saying that to be mean. I raised a daughter essentially alone and it isn't easy but me, personally, I'd rather do it alone and be strong than tag along waiting for a man who can't respect and give me the attention and love I deserve. BE STRONG and move on - everything he is doing is done by men who don't have the balls to say it to your face, he's taking the cowards way out but I definitely believe he is showing you that he's gone. Good Luck - I'm so sorry you are going through this.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 9:46 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • You weren't being mean at all. I have my whole family telling me this, and the main reason I'm with him is because my father passed away last June,and when me and my fiance went and visited him, he pulled me aside and told me how proud he was of me for finding a guy like this and all that, and I've tried telling my fiance that and he just doesnt care anymore. He missed our little girls appointments and everything, and when i was in labor with our daughter, he barely made it to see her be born. And i know once i break it off with him, hes not gonna talk to me or anything, just like every other time. We'll be all good, something messes it up, we break up, he moves, i stay, he ignores the phone calls and texts, doesnt attend the baby appointments, gets a new girl, she screws him over, he comes crawling back. And it needs to stop. Im 22 years old, im tired of the high school drama. and thats all he is.
    xxmarissaxx89

    Comment by xxmarissaxx89 (original poster) at 9:49 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • You may not have realized this, but you are stronger then you think. You are already ahead of lots of women, you have said, or written, that you KNOW what you need to do. 22yrs old is so young. Please, don't let him age you. And when you do end it, do not ever, ever take him back again.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:00 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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