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3 Bumps

How to tell my fiances sister to get over it...

So I like my sister in law, but right now I am kind of annoyed.

I am pregnant with our first baby, and she has been really excited , which is good because I dont think the rest of his family is too happy about it ( they still judge me on how I use to be ) ...

Anyways we were talking on facebook chat and I asked her what was the matter ( she is usually very talkative) .. I finally got it out of her and she said that her feelings were hurt because I am letting all of my friends call themselves the babys aunts and she said it just kind of hurts because she is technically the only aunt the baby has and it doesnt feel as special since everyone is calling themselves Aunt too .

so that annoyed me and I told her that I have alot of friends and that they are all excited ...so then she said that some of them I hardly ever talk to and didnt come to my babyshower, why would I still let them call themselves aunts and tell everyone that the baby is their neice. ....... Well they are my friends and I happen to have alot of them, and it is up to them if they want to say they are my babys aunt.

Then it made me even madder because she talked to my fiance about it and obviously layed on the guilt because now he is saying that his sister is our babies only aunt and he doesnt even want our child or anyone else to actually think that my friends are related or close or anything ( he doesnt like some of my friends) ...

THIS IS MY BABY SHE JUST NEEDS TO LEARN TO SHARE !!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Mar. 30, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (21)
  • wow, i have honestly never come across this issue. i wish you luck in sorting it out, sorry i cant be helpful..
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 9:36 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • yes she does. i have a similar problem. dh grandma thinks that my step mom and his step dad are not grandparents. she says there is no blood there so they dont count. i completely disagree. i think whoever the child wants as a grandparent/aunt/uncle/ whoever should be up to the kids. that is just my opinion.
    newlife627

    Answer by newlife627 at 9:38 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I thought about this in reverse.  What I would feel like if I were her.  What I've gotten so far is that I would be quiet, that's not my child but secretly I would laugh because in reality I WOULD BE the childs only aunt, lol. I think it's a silly thing to be mad over. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 9:38 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • My sister and I both have children. Neither of us mind that each others friends call themselves "aunts". The way I see it is we are both the originals anyway. The kids will know who their "real" aunts are.
    amberdawnbarr

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 9:40 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I can see she would be sensitive to the labels, but that's all they are, labels. You can tell her "I understand you feel that because you are soon to be family you want to take preference over names. It's just that this is such an exciting time in all our lives that people want to feel a part of it by calling themselves 'related' to the baby, even if they're not. In the end they are just labels, and you will be his/her real aunt, and that's all that matters." Something to that effect.
    EdwinsMommy

    Answer by EdwinsMommy at 9:41 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • She is actually the only real aunt. Everyone knows this. Even though, many of your friends will be called aunt or auntie, that does not make your child their niece. It is a way to address a special friend without the youngster referring to them as Mrs____ or by their first name.
    You have to let your sister in law know that the special "ness" will be developed by a relationship not by a term.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:43 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Your fiance's sister is right. If it's no big deal, you know, with it just being a label, can the baby call her mom instead? How would that make you feel? I get the feeling you're rather young if you can't understand his sister's view point on this and can only get mad, stick out your tongue, allowing a bunch of people who won't always be your friends, take on the name of a very special person in your child's life. Shame on you.
    sgr123

    Answer by sgr123 at 9:58 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • I think it kind of set her off because I have had a couple people who didnt know she was an aunt... we were at my fiances birthday party and there was a couple of people who when i introduced her, asked if her and ( friends) were sisters.... lol i thought it was funny but I mean I guess from her point it would be bad since they DID think my friends were the actual aunt and not her... but that also comes with the territory since we live in a seperate town from his family.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:58 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Will these friends be in the child's life forever?? Why confuse the kid and have them call your friends aunt? They aren't your child's aunt. I always thought it was pretty stupid to have your kid call somone that is not related aunt or uncle.... kinda like the woman that brings all kinds of men thru their child's life and has their kids call the men uncle...
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:00 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • To be honest, I agree with your future SIL and DH. If she is the only one on his side of the family showing you support and being excited for you, then I think it's the least you can do to show her a little respect in return.
    Eek_a_Geek

    Answer by Eek_a_Geek at 11:59 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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