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How do I introduce my son to my boyfriend for the first time?

My boyfriend lives out of state and we have made plans to get a place together. My son has not meet my bf yet but will very shortly. Is there any pointers for a single mom bringing a boyfriend into our life?

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rikki_mitchell

Asked by rikki_mitchell at 11:27 PM on Mar. 30, 2011 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Yes, take it slowly. Your son really needs to be involved here. You guys are talking about getting a place together and he doesnt even know the guy. Take some time for them to bond before you move on to the next level. I dont mean, bring him in to meet son and then a week later move him in. Relationships take time to develop, specially one as important as this is for you between a bf and your son. Good luck
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 11:40 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

  • Try lunch or a movie first and let your kid know that you will always love them no matter who you date good luck.
    Betutah

    Answer by Betutah at 12:00 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • A whole day at Disney with your boyfriend and your son would help you see if your son welcomes him and if your boyfriend is even a good match. How do you know if your boyfriend is ready to raise your child as his own to move him with him so quickly? Can you wait awhile, before moving in with your boyfriend? I have many friends who married, they both did not consider their kids and only issues after issues happen, which eventually caused them to breakup. Getting professional counseling in this matter is recommended, your kids should be your number one concern.
    singlemom18yrs

    Answer by singlemom18yrs at 12:01 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I once was painted this wonderful picture by a man who had everything going for him..he lived 4 hours away and he wanted me and my 3 girls to move in with him...it wasn't long after things went bad and we ended up on our own. if your son has not even met this man how do you even know moving into a place with him is even going to work out? the man and the son need to get to know eachother and bond. Moving in with a man has everything to do with how your child feels about it you can't just up and move on with another man without your child's approval and you should have a backup plan if things go sour quikly.

    now to answer the question on how to introduce the man to your child, have him come to your area and the 3 of you have daily outings and see how they connect, do this often but also keep in mind that getting together is always going to be fun...it is living together is what is going to be the true test.
    togo90210

    Answer by togo90210 at 1:09 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Well if you are going to be with this guy for a long time then there is nothing wrong with your son meeting him but if this isn't going anywhere then it wouldn't be a good idea especially if he gets attached. And you don't want a revolving door of men around your son.
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 2:17 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Well, you don't say how old your son is, and that can make a bit of a difference in how you approach him, in terms of whether you tell your son he's your boyfriend or just a friend, stuff like that. The basics that would stay the same, though, are that you need to let them get to know each other for a while before you move in together. It's not right to expect your son to move in with a total stranger, which is what you're expecting right now. Would you want to move in with a total stranger?

    You also need to be sure that this relationship is likely to last. You don't introduce a man that may not be around for long. And moving in together is no assurance that he'll be around. People in unstable relationships move in together all the time. You need to feel confident that this relationship could be the one that lasts.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:56 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • After dating 6 months, we decided to be exclusive and to have my boyfriend meet my son. We went for a simple dinner to Cracker Barrel because my son loves their breakfast, and it was very relaxed and a nice night.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:48 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • How old is the son? Me and my boyfriend (now husband) kept it very low key; he just came over one night to meet the kids. Now he's their stepfather.

    1smartcookie

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 2:27 PM on Apr. 1, 2011

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