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13 Bumps

Do you think i am wrong?

okey so to make a long story short, my baby's dad and i broke up at the beginning of this month and i moved back home which is 2 hrs from where he is. i found out that he may have cheated on me and that he was sneaking around with his ex.. well they came down a couple weeks ago and put papers for joint custody in my diaper bag(which is not a legal way of serving someone). he sent me and email afterwards telling me that so i am using it against him. i went down and filed for full custody(i've given my daughter 99.9% of her support and care for the last 2 yrs.. he hasnt done a whole lot).. so yesterday i drove the papers up to have the sheriff's dept serve him, but i'm afraid that its going to be a huge fight because i used his criminal record as part of my "order to show cause" and i also said that i've provided over half of her care. do you think it was wrong of me to use that against him? obviously he doesnt have the best judment and i dont trust him to have my daughter half the time. i'm feeling really guilty and wondering if i'm being too hard on myself

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Mar. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (25)
  • It's not wrong. You're not the one with the criminal record, that's his problem and I would have used it also. Do what you have to do do in order to make sure your daughter is well taken care of. Good luck Momma! I hope it works out for you.

    Answer by EverydayMomma at 1:09 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • It sounds to me like you did the right thing. You have to go with your instincts when it comes to the best interest of your child.

    Answer by Kword at 1:09 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • If you don't trust him to care for your daughter and have legitimate reasons to feel that way (such as the fact that he has a criminal record) then I think you are doing the right thing. How he can just go live his own life for 2 years and then one day decide he wants his daughter for half the time, is craziness. If she wasn't a priority to him for 2 years, then why does he suddenly want her to be one now?

    Answer by Ash9724 at 1:09 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • No I think what you did was what you had to do as a mother to take care of your child. You have your childs best interest at heart you werent doing to be mean. I totally support your decision.

    Answer by christinahenry at 1:09 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • no, i think you did well. he's not a decent person at all from what you've said, and i wouldn't want my child to be forced to see him by law. you seem responsible and wanting the best for your child, and if you have a clear record then all the more reason the court should find favor with you by any means possible. he's probably just doing this to spite you anyway, and that's a piss poor reason.

    Answer by mrstheriault at 1:10 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I don't think your in the wrong. You supported her she lives with you now. He gave himself a criminal record and if that criminal record makes you uncomfortable then by damn use it against him. Good Luck hope everything works out for you.

    Answer by JordonMichelle at 1:11 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • thank you, im just honestly afraid of the fight it is going to start when he sees the papers. he went from seeing her once a week when she was a baby and then 2 times a month as she got older until we got back together 8 months ago. i tried everything i could to make it work, i even moved 90 miles away so he could be around and he still chose another woman.. and he only filed for joint custody after finding out that he has to pay back child support.. he has only seen her 2 times this month as well. but i do everything i can to be civil to him and his woman.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:15 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • He sounds like a perfect creep. Arm yourself for battle, mama. You're not fighting for yourself, your fighting for your baby, and you will be glad you did! If ever you had a worthy cause to fight for, this is it.

    Answer by Adelicious at 1:19 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • You did the right thing sweetie and you sound like you have a very good head on your shoulders. Keep up the great work mama and best of luck to you and your daughter!! :)

    Answer by psylees_mommy at 1:24 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • If you did it for the safety of your child, you should not feel guilty. You did the right thing. At one time you thought he was safe around your husband, since you noted you just recently left him for cheating on you with his xgirlfried? What kind of criminal record does he have? Co-parenting with him might be difficult at this time, especially during this time when your hurt by him. If you think he will be good dad for your child, do not prevent him doing so. Your child needs both of you, even when you move on to find a new husband. You will find someone else, just focus on what is best for your child. Continue your education and be successful for your child. Do not allow this to hold you back or start acting out. Do not do things that you cannot take back and effect the well being of your child or yourself. Remember if he cheated on you, most likely he will cheat on her. Do not blame her.

    Answer by singlemom18yrs at 1:32 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

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