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2 Bumps

How to deal with a negative man.....

my husband is very negative and it is to the point I don't want to be around him here are some instances where he is negative.

our son makes himself some pizza lunchables and is pretty proud about it...dh asks him if he is going to heat it up in the microwave and our son says no, so dh says "yuck that's gross" I tell dh if our son wants it cold then let him have it and don't complain to him about it.
I open a can of refried beans and dh will say " yuck that looks like dog shit"
he is always judging what we do and putting in some sort of opinion and no matter how kindly I ask him to be nicer and not give his opinion is does not work.
what is behind this negative opinionated behavior? I should also mention he does drink alot and I just have to wonder if the beer hasn't stunted his emotional growth.
another thing is he gets defensive if i point out unfavorable behavior... like I should just go with the flow and accept him and think he is just funny as can be...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:38 AM on Mar. 31, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • my hubs is negative too...... it sucks. he has to insult the way people look constantly and I don't know why, his ex is 17 yrs older than us and ugly and wrinkly as hell, but he's saying his cousin's gf is ugly, I'm like really? you were married to an old lady that looks every bit of her 50 yrs and then some and you are gonna judge this young girl, smh..... and his son is the exact same way as him, they got home from being out and both of them had a look on their faces like they just ate a big bowl of sh*t....... I 've had enough, I'm ready to call it quits, it just never gets better with this guy
    TXColter

    Answer by TXColter at 2:56 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • wehn you say "the beer hasn't stunted his emotional growth" it makes me wonder is he an alcoholic?
    CPRsarah

    Answer by CPRsarah at 2:41 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • oh yes I have to wonder if he is... because I went through our account and added up what he spent at the liquer store and he spends around $400 a month on beer, he cracks then open left and right and i am at the point where he needs to stop or I'm gone because we can't afford this...all I think about is this money could go into a savings! not on beer!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:47 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Ok, you can wonder all you want that he is an alcoholic, I am too...But the only one that can decide that he is an alcoholic is himself, he has to admit to it. If he doesn't want to stop then you can't force him. But there are places out there that can help him if he wants it. IDK if yo have heard of AA? But he can go there when he decides the time is right. Also, if you can't cope on how to deal with his problem they have a place for you too. Al-Anon, it's a place for people who learn how to deal with active alcoholics, or alcoholics in recovery. If you'd like to know anymore just message me.
    MOM2DYLnHAYLEE

    Answer by MOM2DYLnHAYLEE at 3:01 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • i would leave him for the simple fact that he sounds narcissistic and like "mr. know it all". trying to reason with someone like this is equivalent to swimming upstream in a raging river. if he can't admit his faults, he won't be open to change so what's the point ?? i would rather be alone than with such a stubborn person. life is too short to share a home with such a "pleasant*****" roommate.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 4:06 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • negative people are human black holes which suddenly come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you. Do you understand why he is so negative? is it becoz he hates his job, feel frustrated, or does he lach self esteem so the only way he can feel powerful is by hurting others. If you can understand where its coming from its much easier to deal with. Remember negative behavior is his reflection. it tells you what kind of person he is and what issues he may be dealing with. its not a reflection of who you are!
    linah12345

    Answer by linah12345 at 5:58 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • All this negativity and drinking cannot provide a good environment for your kids. He needs therapy and you need to get the hell away from him! When it's at this point, theres no dealing with it. Either move on, or be married to an alcoholic asshole who stunts your growth as well as your childrens..
    KateShesGreat3

    Answer by KateShesGreat3 at 9:11 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Other than the beer thing, sounds like my EX husband. I couldn't take his crap anymore. He was so negative, had a huge chip on his shoulder against the entire world, hated everything and everyone, was just so miserable all the time and made it well known to whomever was in his company. Would avoid socialization, gave up any friends he had when he met me, wouldn't do anything without me - not even go to his family's house without me. He projected his negativity and angry behavior onto our son though and finally enough was enough. I am much happier not coming home to him and walking on egg shells. We're divorced (me - happily) and even when he walks in a room, still...the air changes. Everyone can feel it, it's just weird.

    Be careful of how he treats you and your child based on his self issues and negativity. It could be a problem if it isn't already.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:03 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • he is negative
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 12:46 PM on Mar. 31, 2011