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5 Bumps

You borrow a friend's crib and your LO bites it. Friend is livid and ends friendship...????

My closest friend has ended our friendship because she can't get over her crib being bitten by my baby (in her opinion. There were bitemarks in the crib already but she has no memory of this). Additionally, She's furious with me that I won't get our children to write to hers when there is no prospect of them seeing their friends again. She has now told her children we don't care about them, which understandably has hurt them greatly! We on the other hand told our children that until she can forgive me for the damage to her crib and renewed our friendship we think it's unlikely they will see their friends again. They are happy not to write if there is no face to face contact likely again although they are upset to have lost their friends so unnecessarily.

We've never retaliated and have made it perfectly clear we want to heal the rift [I say 'we' as my husband has lost his friend, her husband, as a result too] and she can get in touch to do that anytime (but she's said we'll never hear from her again).

This might sound like tweenager behavior but we're in our 40s!

Why break off a friendship when I could not be more sad and sorry?
Why use your children as emotional blackmail?

Sorry to vent but this has gone on for months and I was adjusting but she's made remarks (via CafeMom thought bubbles etc) to hurt me anew and I'm perplexed and down.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:43 AM on Mar. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • well that is just immature!! jeez how can you teach a baby not to bite a crib i think almost every baby bites the crib!! that is too bad.. apparently she wasnt such a great friend if she ended it over something that little!
    3HappylKidds

    Answer by 3HappylKidds at 4:47 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • she took it too far, babies bite things period. well she has just shown u her true colors imo. i think u will be better off without a bff who's got such a silly mentality . i know it may hurt but u will be ok and in time you will find another bff.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 4:54 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Cribs are not decorations, they are for babies to use. This woman is insane. When children use things, they get bitten, scribbled on, torn, etc, it's part of having kids. I feel sorry for hers if she feels this way about other things in her life. Teenage immaturity is exactly what it sounds like. A crib is a thing. Freinds and babies are the things that matter in this life. I'd feel well rid of the "friend" if I knew someone with such messed up priorities.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 5:29 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • you will be surprised how little things can break relationships!
    linah12345

    Answer by linah12345 at 5:38 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Sounds like you learned a lesson. Do not borrow from friends.  Sounds like to me she had underlieing issues with you and your family before this crib thing and never brang them up till now.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:43 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • "Sounds like to me she had underlieing issues with you and your family before this crib thing and never brang them up till now."

    This is what my husband thinks. He's been so good to me over this and keeps telling me to walk away and leave it with her. And I'm wondering now if what I was fighting for is actually worth having afterall. So sad.

    [I really appreciate you moms on here giving me your time and thoughts.]
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:50 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Wow!  I couldn't even imagine getting mad at my friend for actually USING something I lent, lol.  This is something I would expect and appreciate so I am mind boggled as to what she's upset about.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 5:55 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • You need to have a frank conversation with her and find out how this can be remedied. You are bringing the children itno it too.
    I cannot believe that you can't work it out. What does she want from you? Does she need a new crib?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:14 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Probably the crib is outdated and one that shouldn't be used anymore. Talk to her. Tell her that your family is missing them and you have every desire to remedy the situation.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:16 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • The friend issue is self evident. But WHY would you tell your children the reason (adult issue- not theirs!) behind this? That is just as off as her.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:00 AM on Mar. 31, 2011

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