I think it's hard to tell sometimes. Some people are very obvious about it, they distort facts, want to know where you are all the time, monitor you or spy on you, don't let you go out with friends, etc. But I had a girlfriend who, over time, became very controlling and manipulative. She was very smart about it and would do little things, like criticize me in a way that made it seem she was just giving 'advice.' It was hard to spot but I always had this very uncomfortable feeling around her and finally began to see that when I didn't do what she wanted or behave in the way she wanted, she would get upset or critical. It's different for every person, but mostly it's just a feeling.
at 5:12 PM on Nov. 28, 2008