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I got in a relationship with a married man and i got pregnant and had my twins..he knows about the twins, he sees them , He has not told his family about the twins... we dont have nothing going anymore I have feelings for him. He tells me that he loves me but I dont buy that ...I really dont know if i should still let him see them or and tell his family about the girls? I really dont want to break this family up..anyone?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on Jul. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (33)
  • I understand how you are feeling. I went through the same thing you are. My daughters father is married,the only difference is his wife knew about me and my daughter. When she was first born he saw her once a week for a few months,then less and less. I know he loved and probably still does love me but I had to do what was best for her. So I told him I didnt want him in her life until he was going to really be in her life,or until she was old enough to want him in her life. Having her caused a lot of problems between him and his wife but she knew about us before I was pregnant and she even saw and held my daughter. I think his other family has the right to know. But he should be the one to tell them. Maybe you should tell him either he tells them or you do.Just be prepared.You might not see him for a while.You need think about what is best for you and your girls. I wish you luck.If you have any questions or just need someone to talk to I'm here.
    Hailey0329

    Answer by Hailey0329 at 9:36 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Its unfortunate that you fooled around with a married man and that he fooled around with you...but what is done is done. Now it is about raising your twins and I believe that children deserve to know both their parents and since he helped to create them, he is also responsible for taking care of them and providing for them. It will complicate things for his family to find out, but oh well, he should have thought about that before he cheated and actually his family deserves to know. His other children, if he has any, deserves to know their siblings. It will be nasty and messy but what do you expect. After the fire dies down you may be surprised at how things work out. His wife may stay with him while he supports his children or he may cut you off, either way, he needs to pay child support and take care of his responsiblities. Either way, what is done in the dark, always comes to light, now or in 10 years. But right now those twins are the first priority.
    momof2boys423

    Answer by momof2boys423 at 9:39 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I'd be making his cheating ass pay child support that is for sure. I'll tell you lies come out one day.......took me 36 years to meet my father. Give his family a chance even if he is not doing right by you. The children so deserve support, as in $$.
    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 9:50 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Wow, what a tough situation if he hasnt left his wife by now he probably won't if you don't mind being the other woman that is your choice. It is the choice I am making. However, the children do have a right to know there father and family. Although, ultimately the decision is yours because once the info comes out it will be complicated. Good luck...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I have a group for women in your situation if you want moral support. I am sure the first thing the members would all tell you is to make sure he pays child support!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:01 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • The only thing i could really recommend is tell him that your daughters have the same right as the other family, to be recognized and loved. Yes, don't except open arms because to every other person in the family you would be the destruction of the family but those girls should have that rights too. In the other hand I hope you had learned by this and make wizard decision in life because when you play with fire you are not only taking a chance of getting burn but burning someone else, who is innocent.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • The answer to this is WAY too easy and obvious. This guy is a complete a**, and the fact that you got involved with him in the first place shows what an idiot you are. He does NOT love you, his family, his wife, or his twin daughters. He only cares for himself and how many women he can have sex with. Don't fool yourself by thinking you were the first or the only. You need to get as far away from this situation as possible. Having your daughters growing up near a father who wants them to have nothing to do with his family will ruin their self-esteems. Your girls deserve much, much better than the situation you have put them in. I hope that they can grow up to be smarter women than you were.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • i dont believe you should tell his family anything because u knew going into the relationship he was married, AND you knew when u chose to continue the pregnancy that he was married, and was not leaving his wife, if he is being a good guy then use it for as long as u can eventually when your twins are older...they will start asking questions, and this man will have to MAN up..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • I am sorry but if my husband got another woman pregnant and she knew about me or not I would want to know! That man is keeping his wife as a security blanket while he screws other women. In all honesty she needs to know, what if he caught an STD? At least she would have a heads up whether or not she chose to stay with him. Also she may be very accepting of your children maybe not in the beginning but your daughters have half brothers or sisters that they deserve to know. Don't be the silent woman any longer.
    JustinScottsMom

    Answer by JustinScottsMom at 1:16 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Why would you mess around with a married man? Don't you watch Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer, or any of the other shows that deal with this subject? Everyone is going to pay the price here whether it is tomorrow or in 20 years. You have to first face the fact the man will not marry you. He should pay child support and have the right to see the children. I doubt seriously if his present wife sticks around, so there goes the kitchen sink and most of everything else he owns. Try to raise your children better than the way you were treated. Give them standards and make them proud.
    Bevner

    Answer by Bevner at 1:21 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

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