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When you have a loss in your family, how do you get beyond the grief?

We recently lost a beloved aunt (92).   It's been difficult letting her go...I guess because she seemed well until a week before her passing.

I've been lucky, the weather here has cleared enough to allow me to get back into the garden, and go for long walks.  Both help; but I guess it will always take some time to get beyond a loss.

What works for you?

 

                                                                (I wasn't sure where to put this question...nothing seemed to fit well.

                                                                  But Health seemed closest.)

 
ss_mom

Asked by ss_mom at 1:05 PM on Mar. 31, 2011 in Health

Level 22 (14,975 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • we lost my MIL over 2 years ago, and let me tell you dealing with grief is hard! There's nothing to help you getting over a loss of a loved one. But there are somethings that can make you more at ease, plant a tree in memory of her and each of you that were close to her can tie a ribbon around a branch(saw it on supernanny)
    MOM2DYLnHAYLEE

    Answer by MOM2DYLnHAYLEE at 1:11 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • One day at a time. I lost my dad in 2005, and my mom 16 months later.

    "All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller. I find it a comforting thought. They may be gone in one sense, but they're still with us in another.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:31 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I don't know if you ever get over it, but with time it gets easier to handle. I lost my son in '08 and I still haven't gotten to that point.
    sondamom0828

    Answer by sondamom0828 at 1:12 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I am so sorry for your loss!
    I dont believe we ever really get over a loss we just learn to accept it and cope.
    Try to think of her watching over you, and smile knowing that now you have you own personal angel!!
    Its wonderful to have your garden to sit and walk, and remember the good times you had together, next time the wind blows maybe its a kiss from heaven!!
    Take care
    IneedAlattee

    Answer by IneedAlattee at 1:12 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I know the feeling. I lost my grandfather of Pancreatic cancer which we didn't know he had up until 1 week after my second son was born. He died before thanksgiving too. He was the closest thing to a father for me, since my real dad was never around to take care of me, either at work or something, so my grandpa did even when my parents split. My grandpa also walked me down the aisle when i got married. I am still having a hard time believing he is gone and will not come back. But i keep the positive memories, and i am glad that he was around to see my son Haiden and Logan before he passed which were his only 2 great grandsons.
    I have pics of him, i made a slide shows with him in it on powerpoint, he made a video tape of me when i was younger when we went up north to his cottage a lot so when i miss him i watch it or look at those things. I even talk about him and all that seems to get me through it.
    2boysyahoo.com

    Answer by 2boysyahoo.com at 1:55 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • time
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 4:28 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Over the last 6 1/2 years, we have lost my father, DH's uncle, our sister in law, and a son. You don't really get over the loss, but through time, and lots of prayer, and being gentle with ourselves, we have found a way to cope. I am so very sorry for your loss, Honey.
    Robsmommy

    Answer by Robsmommy at 4:35 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • It depends on who it is, but time heals all
    MaterialGirl198

    Answer by MaterialGirl198 at 7:23 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I lost my son almost 6 years ago, and all I can tell you is that it eventually gets better. The first year I was like a zombie, and thought I just couldn't live through it, but I did. My faith has helped me more than anything, I don't know if you are religious or not. My husband had just the opposite reaction, he lost his faith and shut himself off. Fortunately, he worked through that too. Just keep taking it one day at a time, and the days will add up, and one day it won't occupy your thoughts every minute, and then you'll be on your way to feeling better.
    elasmimi

    Answer by elasmimi at 2:54 PM on Apr. 10, 2011

  • Grief comes in all forms, as does coping with that grief. I highly recommend reading the book "Tear Soup". Its meant more for kids I think but it basically lets you know that however you need to grieve is ok. I dont think the pain and sense of loss ever goes away when we lose something we truly love. But it does fade and lessen. Time helps immensely and sometimes it takes quite a while to feel at ease. Also, remember the person helps. It is good to think of those we care about, whether they are still with us or have passed on. My mother passed a couple of years ago and it was incredibly hard on my entire family. Not a day goes by that I dont think of her and wish that she were here or that I could call her on the telephone. Talking about her and looking at her pictures keeps her memory alive and thats what helps me. I am sorry for your loss. It will get better, just give it some time. Maybe plant a special plant in her memory?
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 8:02 PM on Apr. 12, 2011