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2 Bumps

How can i get my daughter to stop hating her hair?

Ok this one is gonna sound funny but my daughter who is 7 is hating her hair on her legs and arms. To the point that she refuses to wear short sleeves and shorts or skirts. I know part of this probably started b/c her dad playfully calls her and has always called her monkey-butt. (don't ask i dont know why or how it started she is my step-daughter and he called her this before i came along) She is olive complexion and has very dark brown hair and it is very thick already on her legs and arms. The real verbally complaining came about just recently when she was in the shower and told me that she knew that she was really turning into a monkey cuz she was so hairy. At that point i kinda just laughed it off and told her that wasnt really happening and she was very pretty. She replied with well i still dont look like you( i have blonde hair origionally and not much on my arms). Well then it has progressed into her being severly distraught every morning about what to wear so she can cover this up. She doesn't get very many options b/c she goes to a school that requires uniforms so dressing up isn't a option. I thought about trying to find some models that had dark or thick hair and showing them to her but trying to find any proved fruitless. I am concerned that this is gonna turn into a complex and really need some advice!!!


Asked by amberpaiz at 2:46 PM on Mar. 31, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • Ooh, this is tough. She's found something about herself that she thinks is different and now she is self-conscious about it. I can identify because I had pretty hairy legs in elementary school and didn't wear shorts for a couple years until my mom finally let me shave with an electric razor. I think I was about ten when I started shaving my legs. You can try to reason with her. Maybe she doesn't look like you but if you looked differently would she love you any less? And let's be honest, dark skinned and dark haired celebs like the Kardashians or Selma Hayek certainly are waxed and tweazed and would be hairier if not for that. I would keep reminding your sd that she is beautiful the way she is and that at least hair can eventually be removed, so better to hate that then her nose or something that is harder to change. I doubt you'll get her to be ok with it, you'll just have to decide at what point she can start removing it. GL

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:00 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • This sounds familiar. My best friend is Puerto Rican and her DD is 9 this year. Last summer she started being overly concerned about her mustache and leg hair. After talking to my friend we decided that it was okay for her DD to use a little bleach on her lip hair and learn to shave her legs. It wasn't vain it was teaching her good personal hygiene and self care. As far as the arms go. Lots of girls have dark hair on their arms. My friend was one of them. She actually shaves her arms! Obviously this would be a bit much for a child to keep up with but if you feel she is responsible enough to learn to shave her legs then give her that self esteem boost. Let her learn she can fix things about her body she isn't comfortable with in a safe and mature manner.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • My DD has very dark leg hair, she was being teased- I have shaved her lower legs for her since she was 6. If something that small can fix the problem, there isn't a reason not to.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:20 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • i thought about letting her shave them b/c they are EXTREMELY hairy for her age already but i fear 7 is too young to do it and i don't know that she is at the maturity level to do it just yet and she also showers with her younger sister to save time and i would really be afraid to have her get ahold of the razor. You don't think that it would start coming in thicker and be too early to start this? im just not sure that was my first thought b/c i couldnt think of what else to do but im wrestling with her age. I think if she was 10 then i would just go ahead and let her do it.

    Comment by amberpaiz (original poster) at 3:03 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I can relate, I was teased in school and called a werewolf, and the kids didn't wanna touch me or sit next to me, my mom wouldn't let me shave until I was like 13 and I still shave my arms and legs to this day, kids can be cruel and it is hurtful, surprisingly my son isn't hairy except his back lol but no hair on his arms and legs, the only thing that would probably make her feel better is shaving it

    Answer by toybar02 at 3:11 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • You can buy nair and let her use that , its so easy, apply it let is sit then rinse and all the hairs come off that's what I use cause razors make razor bumps

    Answer by toybar02 at 3:16 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Let her shave or use nair.

    Answer by thecoffeefairy at 3:23 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • how old is your daughter now? i am not so squeemish about the legs... being a woman i can relate but i am hesitant about the arms i see what my legs look like after years of shaving them and i am concerned that on her arms it would look funny. I guess it's just b/c i have never really run into this problem before is it common for people to shave their arms? i guess i am really wondering if people will think i am old fashioned for not letting her just do it or even worse think i am a bad mother for letting her shave her arms and her legs at such a young age

    Comment by amberpaiz (original poster) at 5:04 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

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