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Advice please! adult content

My DH and I moved in with each other 3 months ago. When we first moved in he used to help me with everything. He would clean the bathrooms and clean up after himself. After the first month that stopped! I do everything! Cook, clean, and cater to him and my daughter! I'm burned out and I asked him for help and all he says I work all day and I'm tired! Really? But you're not so tired when you go to your basketball games? So he did his laundry lastweek, I just folded his clothes while he put it away. This time around, it's still in the living room on the couch. I ask him to put them away he gives me
the same excuse. Saturday my daughter just got a bedroom set and she has a walk in closet. I straighten her closet so it won't be messy. He puts her bedroom set together and basically clutterd her closet with Junk! I can't even go in there! I told him I want this cleaned today! He tells
me
after basketball. Then he says ohhh I'm going bowling too. I know when he comes home he's not gonna do it! Idk if I should threaten him by saying I'm gonna throw he crap out or what! Please can I have some advice??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Mar. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • men are like kids, if they think they can get away with not doing it they will. and you let it slide he'll expect not to do it. mine does absolutely nothing. it's ridiculous. he's worse than my kids and they are all under 5
    juliness

    Answer by juliness at 4:53 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I would sit down and have a conversation with him and like I wouldn't be all angry and mad and be like DO THIS rahrahrah cause as SOON as guys hear that stuff they shut down. its like this automatic switch they were born with.
    I would just say you said you were gonna clean that stuff today and you didnt and to be hhonest that makes me feel a little disrespected.

    just have an honest conversation with him. be straight forward and say what you mean.

    and if he doesn't listen. I'd stop doing the things he says he will do. IE he says he will take out the trash and he doesn't, let that sucker pile up and stink. when he comments about it, be like ~you said you would
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 4:53 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • When my dear family stops helping, I go on strike and I stop doing everything (I've got an older child so I know you can't go full out since you have a little one to feed) I do not laundry (other than my own). Pretty soon people start to realize all that I do. In my home SO's clothes do not get laundered unless they are in the laundry basket. If he chooses to leave them on the table for 2 weeks I do not care thats fine. I am no one's slave and either everyone pitches in and the house runs smoothly, everyone gets delicious meals and clean sheets or they get lazy and shit grinds to a halt. Nothing else worked for me.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 4:55 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Don't threaten b/c its empty :) Welcome to the married life lol I've only been married 4 years, but I have learned you have to ask men 1000 times to do something and even then they might not get it! I left a load of laundry sitting on the couch at least 2 days (that's as long as I could stand it) just to see if he'd do it. Oh hec no, he just pushed it over b/c it was in his way. But I've come to learn to comprimise, I hate doing work stuff outside, so he does that, and I don't mind doing the inside stuff. As for laundry, you could just "accidently" dye is underwear pink lol
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 4:55 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I really dont know the answer that'll make it all better, Ive had this issue before it took alot of nagging, fightring and talking and its still not 50/50 but its more like 60/40 now so we've made progress. Good luck, my advice, go off on him, tell him to clean it up or you will and he wont luiek the way you do it, with his stuff going outside, and until he pitches in you arent gonna cook his meals or pick up after him just yourself and your child, you have one kid you dont need another lol
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 4:57 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I wouldn't threaten him, I would do it. My dh had a few fishing poles that he left where the boys could get them, and they had hooks in them. After taking them away from my boys twice (and asking my dh to put them away more than that), I put them outside. He got the message and put them up. I know it's more work for you, but there has to be a price for his laziness and procrastination.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:18 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

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