Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Do you think it's acceptable to argue (yelling and cursing) in front of your 2 and 3 year old?

Just to be clear, this is not something I have done.
It's something I have observed from someone who believes it's not a big deal because they think the children do not understand what's going on.

I guess I already knew it was wrong just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy. If you worked in a situation where this was happening frequently and you knew it was negatively affecting the kids would you bring it up to their parents? Or would you let it go because it's not your business?
The kids frequently say things like "Why is daddy upset", "Why is mommy crying", "Why does daddy yell at mommy", "Daddy is mad", "Daddy yells a lot"... It's clearly something that they're absorbing.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Mar. 31, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • swearing and yelling is a perfect way to make a child feel uncomfortable and out of place. it causes anxiety for young children, its a good way to make them feel like they have done somthing wrong, even though what your fighting about prob doesnt have anything to do with them. kids know alot more than we give them credit for. they might not know what the argument is about but they can always feel the tention. Now... having a little disagreement, a simple talking it out spat, is normal... it teaches kids that not everyone can get along all the time but it is importamt to talk about things rather than yell or scream. Kids mimic what they see from their moms and dads. if they see mom and dad pushing,yelling and screaming.. they will do they same.... THERE IS A FINE LINE!!!

    Answer by dfwhite at 6:51 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • No... I don't even like doing it in front of my seven month old twins. everything the witness helps shape who they are. Helps to shape their personalities. It is unacceptable. It teaches them that these things are okay to do.

    Answer by ajmcheath at 6:32 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with your spouse in front of your children. I think it shows that marriage isn't what disney and other shows make it out to be. It also shows that mom and dad disagree sometimes, but they work it out.

    Swearing and being verbally abusive to eachother in front of a child, sets a whole different example.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 6:42 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Children pick up everything. Of course it's not acceptable.

    Answer by knicole0708 at 6:33 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • no its not unacceptable because the kids will learn alot from the parents.. its like u tell them no to smoking but you doing it. and the kids does it as well. so kinda same concept.

    Answer by BabyTaylor09 at 6:40 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Disagreeing in front of the kids and politely working out the differences teaches them that it is okay to disagree and shows them how to handle it when they do. Cussing and yelling IS NOT how it should be handled and should not be done in front of the children no matter how young they are. I would talk with the person and maybe do a little google research and hand them articles supporting your stance. Other then that just let it slide. You are likely NOT going to change their minds and it is not considered abuse so there isn't much you can do except model the correct behavior to the children if/when you are around them.

    Answer by aeneva at 6:43 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • No but I am ashamed to say that I have yelled at and in front of my son. (not cursed though) I try my best not too cause that is not the way a parent should act.

    Answer by Brandi300 at 6:32 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • No, I don't think little kids should be around tension and conflict.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 6:33 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • It is very bad for the children's internal level of stress & self esteem.

    Answer by elizabr at 6:35 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • we dont argue full stop, I grew up with my parents fighting in front of us so I make it my point not to argue. messes up kids

    Answer by DawnLauren at 6:37 PM on Mar. 31, 2011