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FREE TIME

ok ladies do any of you mom's ever have free time away from the kids? Can you just get up and leave alone or with girl friends and know you can leave the kids with your husband? My husband thinks its ok that he can just take off and come back when ever. I sure wouldn't be able to i would have to take all the kids with me. I don't get it how guys think its ok that they can do this but not for us too. What am i doing wrong?

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butterflies78

Asked by butterflies78 at 9:07 PM on Mar. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,301 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • It's not just you. My husband is like that too. Before I leave, I have to make sure the kids will be properly taken care of, fed, bathed, changed... My husband can just call after work and say he is going out and he will be home later. I don't think it is fair, but I guess that is the way it works with a lot of relationships.
    hotmama404

    Answer by hotmama404 at 9:10 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I'll usually tell my husband a day that I want to go out alone or with friends. This way he can make sure he's home in time for me to go out. Some days I'll just tell him (when we are both home) I need some time alone or I'm going to run out for a bit.
    He gets time to go out bowling, softball, etc...so he never has a problem when I want to do things.
    ItsJustMe1017

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 9:11 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • My husband definitely watches our son so I can go out on my own. Whether it's just going to the grocery store or going out for ladies night. For the most part, I have him more on my own than my Dh does but he gives me my alone/girl time whatever you wanna call it
    Parkers_Mommy8

    Answer by Parkers_Mommy8 at 9:11 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I always wondered why that is. I'm divorced, but my ex-h was like that. I couldn't even get him to watch her so I could shower.
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 9:12 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Talking to us instead of him?

    If you want something you're not getting, asking is probably the most effective way. And, when it involves a male brain, the shorter the sentences and the more direct the language the better:

    "Tomorrow night, you're on. I'm going out without the kids."

    Alternately:

    "You like going out, and so do we, so we're coming with you."
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 9:13 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • My dh will cook dinner for the kids and such...but I usually don't bother him to give them baths. Yes, if I ask him...it might get done but really if they go one day without one, it is ok with me.

    You really do need ME TIME. It makes you a much better mommy & wife.
    ItsJustMe1017

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 9:13 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I always felt like my S/O got more free time away than I do. I used to resent him because I always felt like he could just get up and go and then if I wanted to go some where I would have to pack up my daughter and it would just be so hectic that I wouldn't want to go. I started demanding my free time =) I would say okay well I am going to do etc and I am going to leave my daughter, then he would be like okay lol...We did talk about it at first and I told him I felt like he has more lea way than I do. Now things are MUCH better we compromised and we take turns having our own "me" time!! I hope it works out let your hubby know how you feel =)

    NewMayMommy_25

    Answer by NewMayMommy_25 at 9:13 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • @LindaClement my thoughts exactly!!...So far after reading the other post I am not alone =)
    NewMayMommy_25

    Answer by NewMayMommy_25 at 9:16 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • See what i mean its not cool for them to be that way then if you do say i'm taking off its like where are you going to be doing when will you be back did the kids on and on ... then if i tell him the day before it dont work he for gets or gets home late. I have to have every thing planed to the min. and have my ride outside waiting so i can just jump in the car and take off LOL.. thats crazy..
    butterflies78

    Comment by butterflies78 (original poster) at 9:22 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • OK, then tell your girlfriend to wait for ya outside for when hub gets home, and when he gets home and asks why so-in-so is outside, tell him "I'm going out with her, bye." LOL

    Naw, I wouldn't do that ;) But sure is tempting! My husband realized I needed me time after his first deployment, I believe. He definitely knows I need time away from the kids because I'm a SAHM, and they DRIVE ME NUTS almost on a daily basis. So, if he's home and I need to go shopping, I tell him, "See ya later!" LOL.

    Of course I tell him where I'm planning to go (unless I don't have any plans, just going out with a friend), but I don't tell him how long I'll be gone, because its hard to tell :/ If I'm gone longer than 2 hrs, I do usually get a phone call asking when I'll be back home, and he usually gets the response "when I get home."
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 9:34 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

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