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Is this appropriate?

My SIL has cancer, and her BF asked my husband (her Brother) for his blessing on asking her to marry him and my husband told him not at this time. He told him that he needed get a job and help support his sister and then he might b ok with it. Well a few weeks later he asked her anyways. I know that they don't have to have his approval if she wants to marry him, but why did he ask for my husbands blessing if he was gonna do it anyway. He has no money so i don't know how he could even afford to buy her a ring. also this is the 3rd piece of jewelry that he has bought for her in the past 6 months. and yet he has not worked for 2 yrs. I just thought that it seemed tacky to ask for her phone hand in marriage and yet he still doesn't have a job and is not looking for 1 either. He thinks that his job is taking care of her which he gets paid quite well. He has gotten new tires for his jeep and many other accesories for it. also a new phone and now he wants a to get a very expensive 4- wheeler so they can go riding. I just think that he is trying to get everything that he can get in case she does pass and now he wants to marry her. oh and my SIL pays his child support and etc. If he marries her he would be entitled to everything of hers.

Answer Question
 
hollieshobbie

Asked by hollieshobbie at 9:18 PM on Mar. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (275 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • not at all seems like a golddigger to me
    nicolia

    Answer by nicolia at 9:21 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Money grubbing sob...it sounds like :/ Did she accept the proposal?
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 9:24 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • seems like he has some ulterior motives here I agree and totally inappropriate
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 9:24 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Just wrong...
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 9:28 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • NO i dont think its right that he is doing that to you SIL. But also if they care about each other enough money and a gold ring should not matter. But also since he has been buying for all this jelwery and he aint working then your SIL is paying for everything, which even though she is getting paid by what ever she is getting paid by it wont last forever and he does need to get a job. NOt unless he has money saved up but with him not working for 2 year and with a Jeep i highly dout he has money saved up!!! But if your SIL cares about this man then there is really nothing you can do about it, because if you or the hubby is t saysomething and they take it wrong they might push away from the family.

    I hope things get better
    Manda725

    Answer by Manda725 at 9:28 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • He has already put a wedge between our whole family and her friendships.he has pushed so many away that her friends and family can barely visit with her. He wants to be the only that she needs in her life.
    hollieshobbie

    Comment by hollieshobbie (original poster) at 9:40 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I think that he was asking to be polite and "follow code"...and you're right, it kind of blows that when it didn't work out the way he wanted, he proceeded anyway. But, she is an adult, hopefully he is marrying her for love and not due to her condition, and I suppose just hope for the best at this point.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:00 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • He is seeing green.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:05 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I hope everything works out OK for you SIL. This guy is clearly just in it for a free meal ticket. But, she's an adult and can make her own decisions, however poor they may seem in your eyes. All you can do is talk to her. If she's adamant about marrying this tool, there's not a whole lot you can do, other than be there for her as a friend.

    KateShesGreat3

    Answer by KateShesGreat3 at 9:06 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

  • I think he is just after her money and she should throw him out. I dont think he should have done any of that because you can tell he is after money and doesnt really love her. He asked you husband for his blessing so that it looked as though he cares for your SIL which form what I understand he wants her money.
    shelle21

    Answer by shelle21 at 9:41 AM on Apr. 1, 2011

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