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How do I convince my daughter's biological father to sign his rights over?

Long and dramatic reasoning for this. I wont give EVERY detail but will just hit the major points on why I am wanting this to happen.
Her biological father we shall refer to as BD.
I fell in love with my high school sweetheart BD, got pregnant shortly after graduating and everything bomb shelled after. He started cheating numerous times, leaving me at home for days with no car, never knew where he was. Turned out he had starting used drugs, cocaine, to be exact. After numerous beatings while I was pregnant and after my baby was born I moved home with my Dad when she was 2 months old. BD went to rehab and was clean for 9 months so I very dumbly decided to give it another shot. Three months later back to the verbal and mental abuse. One night he asked for some money to go get some drugs. I told him no and he went and grabbed a loaded semi 45 automatic and held it to my head while i was holding my 2 year old daughter. Told me if I didnt give him the money that would be the last thing that I ever did. I of course gave him the money, he left in my car, and I havent seen him since. I pressed charges and he went to jail for only 15 months on aggrivated robbery. I moved on with life and have found a great guy who has takin my daughter as his own. They claim each other and my child doesnt even recognise a picture of BD anymore. We havent seen him in over 2 years. I have a restraining order on him and I am ready for him to no longer have rights. to be honest he has never done anything for her. No child support and any other help or visitations. Now I need some ideas on how to convince him to sign his rights over. I've thought many ways but just not sure. I need urgant help please!!!!!!

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Asked by ahaley1178 at 9:23 PM on Mar. 31, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 3 (21 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Have you spoken to an attorney or just flat out asked him to sign them over?

    Answer by mamakrysoftwo at 9:25 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • There is nothing you can do to 'make' anyone do anything they choose not to do.

    You may be able to persuade a judge to order the change, but you can't get anyone to sign anything they choose not to sign.

    Answer by LindaClement at 9:26 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I contacted a lawyer today, and he is going to give me a call tomorrow. Never asked him, but because he is a selfish A** I know that he will not do it without drama and bs first, if he does do it.

    Comment by ahaley1178 (original poster) at 9:27 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • I don't know if you can do this in your state but I would speak with an atty to see if you can just petition the court to terminate his parental rights based on his documented violence and no contact. If you don't know where he is there are rules that you have to publicly post a legal notice - that is what I would do. My situation was very similar to yours minus the gun to my head and my daughters sperm donor of a father just never showed back up due to severe drug use. Good luck to you!

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 9:29 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Linda you are right. I have never just flat out asked him, but I was wanting to persuade him kind of in a manipulating way that it would be better for my daughter. I think that he would do it, but just dnot want to stir up a whole bunch of bs, just get it over with.
    Lawyer said he wont take his rights away unless he did direct harm to a child =/

    Comment by ahaley1178 (original poster) at 9:30 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • If he owes you child support, you could offer to forgive it all if he will sign his rights over. DH did this with his daughter. Different circumstances as he wanted to see his daughter but we didn't have money for a lawyer to fight the mother (one night stand...had to have a paternity test and has never had a relationship with the child).

    Answer by ashisamom at 9:31 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Tink- Thats my plan Im from Texas and the laws are all kind of wierd here. I have a 'lunch-date' tomorrow with my lawyer and we are going to discuss all possibilities

    Comment by ahaley1178 (original poster) at 9:37 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • This sounds very similar to my situation. My dd's father and I were never married and split up when she was a few months old, he also spent 15 months in jail for aggravated assualt. He doesn't call, hasn't seen her but 2 times in the past 6 months, doesn't buy her anything/doesn't pay any child support, doesn't have a car, he is living w/ random friends and shoots up oxycotin and smokes weed.

    I called and talked to a lawyer and she said that it would be easy to get a judge to take away his rights but we would have to go to court and fees could get expensive about $3,000. I've asked him if he would sign over his rights and he said No No No, over and over again. Good luck with it, you may just have to take him to court and have a jugde do it.

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 9:42 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Ashisamom- that is also part of my plan. He has tried seeing her again, but I tell him no. He knows that I have a lawyer on hand, and ready whenever to go to court and he hasnt forced any rights to see her. Thats why Im thinking that it would be easy. But not sure.

    Comment by ahaley1178 (original poster) at 9:43 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Loving- Sounds easy, but since he has been out he has been in NA and some other drug/anger classes and therefore is throwing a twist into the situation. He has his own place so I guess he is working, dont know for a fact. My lawyer said it would make it almost impossible for the judge to take away the rights since he has been doing 'better' but as I tell my lawyer.. He is bettering himself, bot my daughter. He has nothing to do with her and neither does she with him. The only fight i have in the battle is no child support, and no contact.. which sounds good, but in Texas makes it difficult

    Comment by ahaley1178 (original poster) at 9:47 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

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