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If a guy avoids answering a question about how he feels towards you, does that mean he actually has stronger feelings then at the start? adult content

ok so i spoke to the guy i have been knocking around with for over a yr last week (my best friends brother and no my bestie doesnt no). we will call my bestie june and her brother james....when i got there i was talking to june while i was on the massage chair. james was sitting behind her and was staring at me, james then went out for a smoke so i went to the bathroom then out to the car to get junes drink. james had gone out the front and he came over to the garage when he seen me. he asked me to go to his room to say a proper hello when i could get away from june. so when i could i went into james and he was all over me wanting sex. i said no because not only i needed to talk to him but june was only to rooms away. he kinda freaked out when i said i needed to talk to him and we needed to be quick. i told him that its all getting hard and im finding it hard keeping a secret from her he then asked me if i wanted to stop and i said not really but its getting to hard and he said it was up to me if we were going to stop and telling june would crush her. i asked him if his feelings have changed from when we first started mucking around. he kept avoiding the question saying "i thought we were just mucking around" i kept saying ur not answering my question.... i then said "its a simple yes or no answer, i wont get angry either way" he then repeated him self and i started to get fustrated so he said no. he then kept asking me if i was ok and if he gave me the wrong answer and i told him i was fine and no he didnt. i went back out to june then about an hour later i went back to james and told him i think we should stop and he said if thats want u want and rolled over and went to sleep. i kinda figured he was a bit angry at me so i didnt say anymore i just walked out. june told me the next day that james was pissed off all day and the next as well. my question is from what i have wrote.... was he avoiding the question because his feelings have grown for me or was he just trying not to hurt me?

background info:
i have known him and his family all my life and are very close to the hole family. in the past yr and a half we havent slept with anyone but each other nor have we had a partner. we havent told anyone about us mucking around because we both no it would cause huge fights. at first it was just sex and we wouldnt touch each other if we wernt spending the night together but now he touches me when ever he see's me.

i thought me talking to him would stop the confussion im having but i think it it has just make it worse. i have fallen for him but didnt say anything to him about how i feel.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Mar. 31, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Sounds like he didn't want to hurt your feeling. But then again you never know.......

    Answer by babygirl0782 at 9:44 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Don't take this personally -- but IMO it sounds as though he just isn't THAT into you! Not for more than a sex-thing anyway. I say move on and find someone who IS into you!

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 9:45 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Well, first, why would it crush your best friend if you and her brother had a relationship?

    Second, it really sounds like he just wanted sex and was afraid that YOUR feelings had grown, and didn't want to hurt you. He obviously likes you, and cares about you on some level. The touching is probably just because his body knows yours at this point and it feels natural, not because his feelings have changed, it's comfortability. It's my opinion that he is angry about losing his easy access, not that he is heartbroken over losing *you*.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 9:45 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • um no it sounds like he's just screwing you. If a man is crazy about you - he'll tell you make no mistake. What you describe above is a man using a woman for sex and nothing more. He has told you everything you need to know by his less than honorable actions.

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 9:45 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • Why would it crush her if you were dating her brother. If you love him and he even loved you then she would have to know eventually.. I would ask the sister if she thought her brother liked you. I would come clean about the entire thing in fact. I would also stop, You put your feelings out there so just let him come to you if the feeling is mutual.

    Answer by mamakrysoftwo at 9:46 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • it sounds like he has more feelings for u but dont want to admit it b/c he knows u guys cant be public wit ur relationship

    Answer by mrstumminelli at 9:48 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • It sounds like what started as a simple 'fling' has gone a few more levels to where he may feel closer to you and therefore more upfront about what he wants, but not necessarily looking for a real relationship. That, and guys that keep you secret from other people are notoriously either very shy or users. Be careful.

    Answer by EdwinsMommy at 9:49 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • june is very much a control freak when it comes to her brother, to many of our mutual friends have ended up in bed then a relationship with james and then james always gets hurt. james doesnt have a phone because she constantly goes through it and has to no who he is talking to, where he is and who he is with. she gets the shits if any girl goes near him. she also has it in her head that him and a 16yr old have to get together. she goes every where with him (he lost his licence) and she wont let him do his own thing. its acomplicated situation.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:56 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • No, his feelings haven't grown. He only wants sex and you messed that up by getting feelings. He'll get over it and find another woman to screw.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 9:56 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

  • he kept avoiding the question saying "i thought we were just mucking around"   this is your answer ... He is being honest with you, even though its not what you want to hear...FWB relationships dont work, sex is not just sex, someone eventually wants more. If he wanted you for more than a roll in the sack, he would have told his family and friends by now, ( it's been over a year)... He knows that you have strong feelings for him, be careful he may try to sweet talk you so he can continue using you for sex. Wouldn't you rather be with someone who acknowledges that you are his girl and wants to be with you because he loves being with you or someone who sneaks behind peoples back to get naked with you to satisfy his own needs.


    Answer by TraceyLu at 11:35 PM on Mar. 31, 2011

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